"Mind the Gap"

Youth and Young Adult Ministry Sunday

In the years since I graduated from college, I have had almost no personal contact with anyone I knew there. I never bonded with my school. My college years were a miasma. I have little to remember with pleasure. Stressed by being away from home, I came down with one illness after another. The college infirmary was my personal health spa and retreat center.

The one and only time something about my college moved me to give money was just this past summer. I read in my alumnae magazine that the school physician, whom I knew well from the college infirmary ­ had died. I wrote out my check to the charity her family requested. Tears of gratitude for the care she gave me were running down my cheeks.

Anyway, the alumnae magazine contacted me once, when they were doing a story about religion and college life. They didn¹t have much choice. Bryn Mawr was a tiny college when I attended ­ 800 students in all, and it is not much larger today. The school's staunchly secular posture and lack of religious studies produced few clergy. And it was a women's college, so the students, unless they belonged to liberal faith traditions, had few prospects of ordination at that time. For many years, there were only two of us:an Episcopal nun who resides in a convent on Boston¹s Beacon Hill ­ not far from UUA headquarters ­ and me.

The alumnae magazine reporter wanted to know about my spiritual life at Bryn Mawr. All I could remember was how little the school did to nurture it. Nothing about the cerebral and ambitious careers we were exhorted to lead left room for doubt, much less for faith.

I realize now that much of what was missing from my college experience is something that, in fairness, college itself could not provide: a religious community. I needed a place to go with my fears and anxieties. I could have used the guidance of some caring adults. I would have liked to stay connected to the religion of my youth, Unitarian Universalism. But I had none of that there. And I missed it deeply.

There was a Unitarian Universalist congregation in a nearby town. But without a car, getting there would have been difficult. And what would I have found, once I did? Most likely, few other people my own age.

This is the gap in "mind the gap," which our Unitarian Universalist Association has proposed to correct with some ambitious new programming, directed at youth and young adults. Campus ministry is one of the programs. What if the minister at that nearby church had come to my campus once a month, just in case someone needed him? It might have made all the difference in how I adjusted to being away from home.

Many of our college age youth find themselves as I did back at Bryn Mawr. Emerging from positive experiences in their home churches, they are open to continuing that connection in ways that fit their new lives. But if the connection is not easily sustained, it breaks. Ninety percent of our young people do not return to our faith tradition. Sunday morning services that require an early morning wake up call and a car may not be the answer. Outreach and ministry are.

We can also help our college youth maintain their connection with their home churches. The presence of Megan and Will in today¹s service nurtures something in us, that¹s for certain, but I hope that it also nurtures something in them. I hope they remember the respect and affection we have for them, and the bonds they formed among us.

Everyone says that young people return to church when they begin to have families of their own. Some do. I think they come back when we have something to offer them: religious education for their children. What if we had something for those people who have not yet found their partners, or had their babies ­ what if we had something for those who were still searching, who were still forming their lives? A young adult visited our church last year and asked if we had something like that ­ a young adult group. Something for people just out of college, or in graduate school, or starting careers. Something for people who had just moved to Los Angeles and didn¹t know anyone. Something for someone like her.

We didn't, so she started it. Together with Leah Halvorsen and David Knudsen, Andi Bistline formed our new young adult group: FUUSION. These young people have proven that you don¹t have to wait to become part of a faith community. But you sometimes have to work to make one of your own.

That's another one of the gaps the UUA hopes to overcome. Young people already have many demands on their lives. What if we had something ready for them to join, rather than asking them to create it themselves? Next time we will.

Over the past few years, our congregation has made some gains in serving youth and young adults. The results are very hopeful. I would guess that about half our new members are young adults. Some of them are interested in reaching out to college campuses. We could use the resources the UUA hopes to provide with the funds they raise in this campaign.

Staying connected to college students and young adults, however, begins with strong youth programming even before they leave home. For many years, our congregation has cherished the dream of an active youth group. Lately we have taken some steps towards that goal. With a yearly Coming of Age program for our thirteen-year olds, we celebrate a significant life transition and begin building community for youth. Many of them choose to stay together through the youth programming we now provide. Talented young adults have stepped forward to serve as advisors. Every year we move closer to realizing our dream.

We mind the gap. We are doing something about it. We have a dream of what we could become: a vibrant intergenerational community at home, a spiritual presence on campus, an open door for all who seek us when they are strangers in our city. We are on our way to becoming the church we want to be. But we have a long way to go. It is good to know that we don¹t have to go it alone. With help from our larger Unitarian Universalist community, our dream is now closer to coming true at last.