First of all, let me say how wonderful it is just to be here. It’s been just over a year since I relocated to my cabin in Idyllwild. Even though it has long been a dream of mine to do just that, I am grateful for all things I learned here to make it possible, and miss you every day.

As it is the beginning of the Jewish High Holidays and the month of Ramadan, Judith asked me to say a few words about setting aside time and place for rituals of what we consider to be sacred. Some people live lives of repeating the same traditions over and over again, from generation to generation – and don’t think about it very much. Others, like myself, live lives that have had significant shifts….and being in the middle of one right now, I think about it A LOT.

Some years, far from home, I tried totally ignoring the Jewish holidays – but that was unsatisfying. Other years, far from home, I tried replicating the celebrations I knew as a child – equally unsatisfying. (Besides, dysfunction is hard to recreate without the original cast of characters.)

It wasn’t until I had a child with an authentic White Anglo-Saxon Protestant and landed gratefully in this Unitarian tribe, that I began to enjoy making rituals that were actually meaningful for me, without judgments or regrets….that it is o.k. to let go of some customs, o.k. to hold on to others, and o.k. to create whatever I needed to fill in the blanks.

So, the question for today is: on Rosh Hashanah, if a Jewess lights candles and has matzoh ball soup from scratch, all by herself in the forest – does it count?

Traditionally, there is a 3-step process to fulfilling the requirements of the holiday, focusing on the past, the present and the future. #1 is “Reflection” – a spiritual accounting of the past year/cleansing by acknowledging shortcomings. #2 is “Repentance” – devising a way to find redemption from shortcomings/accepting responsibility. #3 is “Return” – restoring hope in oneself and in the future by taking action – personally asking for forgiveness/doing good deeds/performing acts of charity…

(A few other lovely customs are eating apples dipped in honey for a sweet, fruitful new year and “tashlich” – meaning “you send”, going to a body of water and turning out your pockets or tossing in breadcrumbs, to cast off the stale bits, in order to start fresh.)

I worked on a lot of these things, in my own way. I even went so far as to contact someone with whom I had a disagreement a while back, to see if she wanted to sort it all out. She said “no”, but hey, at least I tried.

So, what my family might consider the behavior of a renegade heathen, I like to think of as the sincere efforts of an archetypal Wandering Jew….guided by the UU spirit of “if it comes from the heart – it counts”.

After many years of making up holiday celebrations with an assortment of other “mixed” families, I have several tips to pass along tips for creating rituals:

If you are on your own, be guided by my favorite Jewish prayer – “Shehechiyanu” – gratefully celebrating that you have lived, endured and arrived at this point in time….and don’t forget to do this whenever you feel like it.

If you a with others, here are my suggestions of favorite things to do:

1. Make decorations together
2. Light candles and have toasts.
3. Share a meal, and share the preparations, if possible.
4. Hear a story or reading and have a discussion, especially with the children.
5. Sing a song together.
6. Of course, have a big group hug at the end.
7. Feel free to do this for any reason, any day of the year.

And for all of us - L’Shanah Tova Tikasevu - may we be written down in the Book of Life for a good year.