Love is the doctrine of this church.
The quest of truth is its sacrament
And service is its prayer.
To dwell together in peace;
To seek knowledge in freedom;
To serve humankind in fellowship;
Thus do we covenant with each other.

(CUUPS)

Right Relations Task Force Report

How I Spent the Morning of October 7^th at the Right Relations Covenant Workshop

While I eschew exaggerated verbiage (aren’t the terms “sea change,” “radical compassion” and “prophetic witness” inflated?), I confess to feeling jubilant after the Right Relations Covenant Workshop.  What was so inspiring?  You, congregation.  Hear this tale.

7.45: I arrive, welcomed by coffee and Linda, bustling about the kitchen.  I see:  Nancy, having driven a hundred miles, painstakingly organizing her materials; Vilma, in a dress, dragging tables; Margot, gamely taking notes; Sue, back from her retreat in time to make last minute copies; Beth, dashing off to wrangle easels from the office; Emily, who breaches the R.E. closet for paper; and Cassie, performing recon for what has yet to be done. 

8.15: Joe, Cindy, Rima, Linda and Nalani ponder which of the closing reading’s stanzas to read, and with fellow Team Members Kim, Patricia and Steve, they accept the mysterious assignment of Table Leader.  Tom and Bob arrive, reassuring us that audio and visual will behave.

8.30: James loads the agenda on his device to confirm our schedule.  Church members stream in, cautiously, skeptically, confessing low expectations, some having second thoughts about coming.  They eat, drink and commune.  At last, disbanding, they move into the Sanctuary for the covenanting journey.

9.00: We begin.  Emily and Cassie light the chalice while the sixty participants recite the opening reading.  Vilma and Sue offer welcome, Nancy reviews our group agreements, Greg introduces covenant, and James and I read our congregation’s Core Values Statement.  We “pair-share” with a partner about a promise that strengthened a relationship.  All publically offer commitments (“I will assume good intentions,” “I will speak honestly and directly”), which Beth and Margot inscribe on easels.  Nancy projects a word-cloud image of promises made at In-Gathering Sunday, shows a UUA-produced short about the meaning of covenant, and quotes Greg: “A ‘covenant’ is simply a way to move into some intentionality regarding how we ‘agree to be together.’  It makes explicit our collective aspirations and calls us into collective accountability toward our ideals.”

Nancy explains the following: * A covenant of right relations helps us to “move beyond ‘stuckness’,” to “achieve an evolutionary leap in congregational identity,” and to free the minister from refereeing conflicts in a system with no navigable criteria.  UU’s make covenants between themselves and that entity which they hold as beloved – the community.  They have high expectations of being valued and well-treated, and may be devastated when congregations fail to live up to their assumptions.  Covenants, then, exist to make explicit these internalized expectations, how we aspire to behave toward one another in good times and bad, that we are accountable to agreements with each other, and how we lovingly bring each other back into covenant when a promise has been broken.  Embodying the intention to address harms honestly and directly, with due regard to the needs of all parties, a covenant makes a true difference in what it means to be in community.  As such, the collective well-being of the community is elevated beyond the interest of the individual.

Greg and Nancy discuss how such a covenant might operate at UUSM, Nancy noting existing covenants with the UUA, within UUSM, the Board, the Right Relations Task Force.  Nancy explains our work of the next two hours, and we number off.

Throughout this time, I am watching the faces of my congregation.  I do not see inattention, texting or side conversations.  Their expressions are rapt, amused, sometimes confused, always engaged.  They are present.  We are together. 

10.15:  Dismissed, we move to our numbered tables in Forbes Hall.  Table 6, where I am Table Leader, is all women, teen to septuagenarian.  We don’t all know each other, and make introductions.  Beth sets the timer; we silently ply pen to worksheet.  Hesitantly, we share our draft covenants.  Enthusiastic about each other’s commitments, we notice similarities.  Zhila struggles to articulate an elusive inspiration.  Beth offers a suggestion.  Cassandra finds another’s covenant deeply meaningful.  We help each other with language.  We are unanimous that Dagny’s idea be included and choose six more of each other’s covenants.  We break.

11.00:  We join Table 7, led by James, and introduce ourselves to Herb, Jacki, Nina and Amy.  Nancy and Greg keep walking around, observing.  Greg can’t stop smiling.  We ignore them.  We are focused.  Table 67 compares our respective lists, invites each others’ opinions, combines concepts, eliminates others.  We argue a little.  We listen to each other.  We compromise, smiling.  Jacki chooses the pink marker and her handwriting is beautiful. 

11.30:  It is time to account for ourselves.  New people report out – Aubrey, then Mark.  Herb reports for us.  We are done.  We are proud of our work together.  My church members share their experiences at the mic.  They are elated, optimistic, reflective, emotional, frustrated, cautionary.  We close with the reading offered by the Team.  We are thanked, excused, the chalice is extinguished.  We congratulate each other, give hugs, are hugged.  Good will is palpable.  Onward.

Did a sea change occur for those who worked together that Saturday morning?  Did we exhibit radical compassion as we listened, disagreed, helped and cheered each other?  Did we bear prophetic witness to what is yet to come?  You be the judge. 

~ Audrey Lyness

Our charts from the Workshop were displayed in Forbes Hall the following day.  Whoever missed the Workshop may complete the covenant worksheet, *and the Workshop PowerPoint may be viewed on the UUSM website.  Members of the Team and Task Force will synthesize the participants’ work into a rough draft of a Covenant of Right Relations.  You are invited to Dialogue Circles -- different from Listening Circles, they encourage dialogue, but are equally crafted and facilitated -- that your responses may be incorporated to refine the covenant.  Your feedback is critical, so please stay tuned for these opportunities to comment, and visit our table where Team and Task Force members are delighted to converse and share information with you.