FROM SOUL MATTERS SHARING CIRCLE: What Does It Mean To Be a Community of Healing?

Well this one certainly seems easy to answer: it takes work. To be a community of healing requires dedication and a willingness to dig in — to fix what’s been broken, to listen away each others’ pain, to battle the bad guys and gals, to ask forgiveness when we are not the good guys and gals we so want to be. So yes, it is easy to remember that it takes work.

But what if we just as easily remembered that it takes perception and sight as well?

Or to be more exact, what if we remembered that healing always begins with perception and sight?

Would we more easily remember that time we were blessed with the experience of looking through each other’s eyes? It wasn’t a perfect view. We weren’t able to see or understand “the other” completely. But we were at least able to see them differently. And in doing so, the healing began.

Would we more easily remember the first time we felt seen? And how that made us want to give that gift to others? 

Would we more easily call to mind those moments when we were able to see our “enemies” in their wholeness? Those moments when our frames of them as all bad and us as all good gave way to the truth that they are as complex, fragile and flawed as us.

Would we more easily tell the story of when we first realized that we were part of propping up the system? The system that subtly and not so subtly gives some a hand while keeping the hands of others so securely tied behind their back?

Would we more easily remember what happened when we confessed our lie or admitted our addiction? How when we stopped trying to hide it from the sight of others, it somehow loosened its hold on us?

There was a magic in all this looking, seeing and being seen. Remember that? In each case, we learned that healing is not entirely up to us. There was an otherness at work. We just got the ball rolling. We weren’t “the healers”; our wider view simply set the stage. Opened the door. Healing then slowly made its way in and joined us as a partner.

And seeing healing as a partner – rather than solely as a product of our will and work — we were able to be more gentle with ourselves. We realized that manageable steps and doing what we can were just fine; heroics didn’t always have to be the way. We were able to put down the weight of the world for a while, knowing and trusting that healing had a life of its own – that it has the ability to grow and take root even while we rest, maybe even because we took the time to rest.

In the end, maybe that is the most important thing to remember this month: besides always beginning with a wider view, healing also means making room for rest. Too often being a community of healing gets reduced to a matter of work, vigilance and never letting up. So we need these reminders that healing is a partner, not simply a product of our work.

Maybe even trying to partner with us right now…

— Rev. Scott Taylor for Soul Matters Sharing Circle

“You Tell on Yourself,” So No Use Faking

The Rev. Dr. Kikanza Nuri-Robbins said that, after she read this poem by Jamie Sidwell at Sunday Service September 18, many people asked her for a copy. Therefore she wants to share it, including via our newsletter. We thought this was an especially good idea given that over 80 of us were at de Benneville Pines that weekend, where we participated in a different Sunday Service. — Editor

You tell on yourself by the friends you seek,
By the very manner in which you speak,
By the way you employ your leisure time,
By the use you make of dollar and dime.

You tell what you are by the things you wear,
By the spirit in which you your burdens bear;
By the kind of things at which you laugh,
By the records you play on the phonograph.

You tell what you are by the way you walk;
By the things of which you delight to talk,
By the manner in which you bear defeat,
By so simple a thing as how you eat.

By the books you choose from the well-filled shelf,
In these ways and more, you tell on yourself;
So there’s really no particle of sense
In an effort to keep up false pretense.

 Quotes Related to Healing

Lois Hutchinson has provided these quotations that relate to our ministry theme for October.

The charities that soothe, and heal, and bless, Are scattered at the feet of Man — like flowers. — William Wordsworth

“I shall soon be rested,” said Fanny; “to sit in the shade on a fine day, and look upon verdure, is the most perfect refreshment.” — Jane Austen

There was no placid regimented tempo to Taps. The notes rose high in the air and hung above the quadrangle. They vibrated there, caressingly, filled with an infinite sadness, an endless patience, a pointless pride, the requiem and epitaph of the common soldier, who smelled like a common soldier, as a woman had once told him. They hovered like halos over the heads of sleeping men in the darkened barracks, turning all the grossness to the beauty that is the beauty of sympathy and understanding. Here we are, they said, you made us, now see us, don’t close your eyes and shudder at it; this beauty, and this sorrow, of things as they are. — James Jones

Now what reward for all this grief and toil? But one; a female friend’s endearing smile; A tender smile our sorrows’ only balm, And, in life’s tempest, the sad sailor’s calm. — Edward Young

The time for the healing of the wounds has come. The moment to bridge the chasms that divide us has come. The time to build is upon us. — Nelson Mandela

But noble souls, through dust and heat, Rise from disaster and defeat The stronger, And conscious still of the divine Within them, lie on earth supine No longer. — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Ernie Pipes Led Our Congregation to Embrace the Social Movements of the Era

Ernest D. (Ernie) Pipes, Jr., who was born in Texas October 6, 1926, majored in Chemical Engineering at Rice University. After service in the US Navy in World War II, he majored in Philosophy and Social Services at Trinity University. He graduated in 1949 and married classmate Margaret (Maggie) Copeland. Ernie then studied

Philosophy in graduate school at Harvard, transferring after a year to Harvard Divinity School. He graduated in 1952, when he was called as minister of the First Unitarian Church in Albany, NY.

In 1956, Ernie accepted the call to ministry in Santa Monica and continued in our pulpit until his retirement in 1991, when he was confirmed as minister emeritus.

Ernie and Maggie’s three children grew up in our church. Bruce is married to Estralita Mendez; they have a daughter, Eliana, now at Columbia University. Gordon helps Ernie at home. Heather lives in Minnesota.

During their 35-year tenure, Ernie and Maggie led a congregation that was in the vanguard of the social, political and cultural ethos of the times. In the late 1950s, and I quote Ernie, “Long before we voted to become a welcoming congregation, we were perceived as one by the gay community.…I would be asked to officiate at a Holy Union of two people. My feeling, then as now, was that love is indiscriminate in its object…and it was my conviction that Unitarianism historically had been open-minded, dedicated not only to theological freedom, but also to personal freedom, human rights, and the option to be different.”

In 1965, Ernie responded to the call by Martin Luther King, Jr. to come to Selma in support of voting rights with a sermon that led the congregation to authorize Ernie and congregant Leon Papernow to go to Alabama. Their car was threatened, but they completed the last leg of the march into Montgomery.

In the 1960s and 70s, Ernie counseled conscientious objectors to the Vietnam War, the church voted to become a Peace Site, and Maggie and other church members supported Cesar Chavez and the farm workers in their efforts to unionize.

Prior to Roe vs. Wade in 1973, Ernie was among clergy members who counseled women on obtaining safe abortions. Ernie and Maggie were also board members of Sunset Hall, a retirement home for progressive elders started in the 1920s by the Women’s Alliance of First UU Church.

Reacting to the civil wars in Central America in the 1980s, our church became a Sanctuary Church and in 1986 bonded a family from Guatemala, with whom Maggie stayed in touch for decades.

Throughout his ministry Ernie continued to study the history of ideas, comparative religion, and the nature of human consciousness. Ernie was first in our church to lead the stillpopular course “Building Your Own Theology.” In 1997, six years after his retirement, Ernie led a six-week discussion group of philosopher Ken Wilber’s “A Brief History of Everything.”

In 2007 Ernie led a four-week course on global warming. He remains a force to the congregation and to the children in Religious Education.

 

In 1991, church members, led by Betty and Ray Goodman, endowed the Pipes Lecture Fund to honor Ernie and Maggie Pipes for their 35 years of leadership.

— Diana Spears

Rev. Bill Schulz Will Deliver 25th Pipes Lecture
Sunday, October 23, 3 pm, in our Sanctuary
Admission free, reception to follow

The Pipes Lecture Committee is honored to welcome the Reverend Dr. William F. (Bill) Schulz as our 25th Anniversary Pipes Lecturer. Rev. Schulz was our premier speaker in 1992. In the intervening years he has served as president of the Unitarian Universalist Association, executive director of Amnesty International USA, and president and CEO of the Unitarian Universalist Service Committee.

Rev. Schulz, who has known and admired Ernie Pipes for decades, is traveling from Boston to join in honoring our reverend emeritus on his 90th birthday. His address, entitled, “Seeing the Garden, Not Just the Wall” discusses what we can learn from lives well led, working to overcome obstacles to humanitarian progress. A review of one of Rev. Schulz’s many publications, in the “New York Review of Books,” said, “William Schulz has done more than anyone in the American human rights movement to make human rights issues known in the United States.”

Please join us for this singular presentation. Questions may be directed to Patrick McGuire or Diana Spears of the Pipes Lecture Committee.

Letter from Camp de Benneville — and Letting Go of Interweave

I’m sitting on the deck of the lodge with a gentle breeze blowing and the happy voices of UU kids playing in the background. It used to be the sound of my own kids and I realize I started coming to de Benneville 20 years ago, just after John-Michael turned five and Angela was not yet one.

After beginning this glorious Saturday with a much-needed massage, I wandered into a mindful meditation group that led me from a quieting of the noise within to a deeply moving sharing of spirits and tears — human and spiritual connection at its best.

As I sat meditating silently, I promised myself I would write this letter. Life is good — I’m 63 years old, my kids are launching themselves nicely, and although I’ve considered retirement, I still work hard at a job I love. But I find myself wanting to experience more quiet time, more evenings and weekends with Karl, more time in my garden, more time cooking, and more time reflecting on everyday life. The voice within is telling me to slow down and let go.

For over a decade, I’ve been involved with Interweave, our LGBTQ group, putting together our Coming Out Sunday service in October, offering potlucks at our house, selling Pride t-shirts, and organizing our church’s participation in the Los Angeles Pride Parade. Of the many activities I’ve been involved in at UUCCSM, Interweave is perhaps the one I’m most proud of. What drives my passion is a desire to make this a place where every kid feels welcome, loved, safe and free to express who they are. And not just to feel accepted, but feel celebrated.

And yet, as proud as I am of my contribution, it’s time for me to pass the Interweave baton on to some other willing members of our church community. I’m not sure exactly who those members are (and I do emphasize the plural) but I know there are others who will be inspired to continue our work of standing on the side of love. Although I’m happy to share what I know with these new folks, I no longer wish to assume the responsibility of leadership.

Our annual Coming Out Sunday service is October 9, just a few short weeks from now, and I have made no plans. Today, in our meditation group, we were instructed to focus on an issue that is causing us unease and my mind settled on my struggle to make public my desire to step down from Interweave. Tears did bubble to the surface — letting go is never easy. But it is the truth and I acknowledge it — to myself and to you.

With affection,
Janet Goodwin

A Glorious Camp Weekend, 6,600 Feet Closer to Heaven

Eighty-one of us, including many young children, climbed (well, drove) up the mountain October 16 to our church weekend at de Benneville Pines, the UUA Pacific Southwest District camp. From Friday evening through Sunday afternoon we hiked, swam, kayaked, tie-dyed, ate well, had a talent show and two wine tastings, deepened our ties with old friends and made new friends, did archery, worshipped, sketched, worked together to set and bus tables, and more.

We even had a news flash. Our camp “dean,” Jacki Weber, announced that she was leaving her job as chief development officer at Homeboy Industries to lead a three-year project at de Benneville Pines to raise funds and improve and expand operations and facilities (including improving access) to make the camp sustainable for decades to come.

I led a workshop on the difference between philosophical idealism and philosophical materialism. To my surprise, 15 people showed up. UUs are amazing. Just three of us, though, were up (literally) for a 6:30 am hike to Johns Meadow. My fellow early risers were Haygo Saliban and Bob Dietz.

Here are reflections from others:

Abby Arnold: This was my first time at our congregation’s annual camp, although I have been a church member for over 20 years and have been to de Benneville Pines many times to drop off and pick up my two sons, and have chaperoned teen camps. I loved having the time to get to know some of the newest members of our congregation, and some of the young families who represent the future of our church. I was also able to deepen my connections with longtime friends who I see on Sundays, but seldom at other times. At de Benneville we are connected to the holiness of nature, and at the same time we are connected to those with whom we share the Seven Principles. It was an uplifting weekend of renewal.

Lois Hutchinson: Even the birds and the chipmunks seemed to appreciate the early morning silence. A canopy of pine boughs served as our sanctuary for Sunday-morning services. I hiked to Jenks Lake with Rick Teplitz, where he took the photo on the next page. Many of us headed home resolved to return next year and encourage even more of our fellow congregants to join us.

— Rick Rhoads

 

 

 

 

 

 

Camp De Benneville Pines Weekend

At the Sunday worship service, Becky Erskine, a former professional musician who first started coming to our church in August, played the violin, as she had in the talent show. Joyce Holmen, Karl Lisovsky, and Jacki Weber sang, Camp Director Janet James made heartfelt remarks in appreciation of our congregation’s love of de Benneville, and Ian Oakes demonstrated balance. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Joy of Generosity

Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought in the happiness that you are able to give.  Eleanor Roosevelt

For it is in giving that we receive.  St. Francis of Assisi

The best things to do with the best things in life is to give them away.  Dorothy Day

The altruism center of the brain is considered a “deep brain structure.”  Humans are social animals wired to help one another. Neuroscience has demonstrated that giving is a powerful pathway for creating more personal joy and improving overall health.   Psychology Today: Neuroscience and the Basis of Happiness.

The wise one does not lay up his own treasures. The more he gives to others the more he has for his own.  Lao Tzu

When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.  Maya  Angelou

Our stewardship team is joyful to announce our communities’ theme for this year’s pledge campaign. The joy of generosity, it turns out, is not only a nice sentiment set forth by sages, religious leaders, our grandparents, kindergarten teachers and saints throughout the ages, but is also backed up by scientific research. So it turns out that when we give, not only does the receiver benefit, but the giver benefits far more.

Our community is precious to all of us. When we give from our hearts, we are supporting the ministry and programs that our church thrives on. We are supporting our children, our facilities, our music and our seniors. We are securing this church community’s future.  We give to our church community since “service is our prayer” so that our community, in turn, can give service to the larger community that we live in and we can be an even more “generous congregation.” We support our social justice ministry by moving our “faith in action” out to the larger world.