Newsletter for October, 2012

Month: 
Oct 2012
From Our Minister: 

From Our Minister and Our DRE

 

As we move into October, we turn to the theme of Letting Go. Like September’s theme of Forgiveness, “letting go” is not something Unitarian Universalists have tended to focus on as much as other religious traditions have. The very idea of “letting go” can seem patronizing or even coercive; in our culture it is so often externally focused. How many of us have bristled at the suggestion that we should “just move on” when we’re angry about something that has hurt us, or that “it’s time” to be done with our grief following a loss? That’s not the kind of “letting go” we’re talking about this month. Letting go, in the spiritual life, is not about forcing yourself to release things that you’re not ready to give away yet. And letting go is not about pretending to be OK when you’re really not. Rather, letting go is often about releasing yourself from unreasonable expectations — your own or those of others — about the way you should be living your life.

Sometimes things are hard. Sometimes, as we noted in the Ingathering Sunday service in September, we are faced with real pain and fear and challenges we don’t know how to surmount. And church is a place where we can bring those challenges and lay them down in the chalice of our community, at least for a few moments, until we feel able to shoulder them again. On Ingathering Sunday, those present were invited to write on small flame shapes about the darkness they bring with them to church, as well as the light. And taken all together, the responses of the members of our congregation paint a picture of fearful struggle, but also great hope and steadfast love. Oh friends, in this community we share anxiety about finances, grief following or anticipating the loss of loved ones, fear of illness, physical pain, worry about the future for ourselves and people we care about, loneliness, confusion, frustration, alienation from family members, exhaustion and stress, feelings of inadequacy, addictions, sorrow about life- changing events that we did not choose — and more. But we are also bolstered by the love of friends and family, find solace in music, rejoice in the birth and growth of family members, appreciate the support of siblings and partners and mentors, feel gratitude for good health and good experiences, feel fulfilled in our work or our spiritual lives or our connections with others — and so very much more.

A fellow religious professional once shared a story about a young boy who said to her one Sunday morning: “I like this church because it’s OK to be sad here. At school they make fun of tears.” It’s OK to be sad here, friends. It’s OK to bring your whole self here, to let go, even if only for one hour on Sunday morning, of whatever walls you
have built up around the tender places in your heart. What are you holding onto too tightly? What are you carrying
with you every day that you want to learn to release? What gives you the strength and knowledge to let go, when it is time? And how can our UUCCSM community help you in your struggle?

-- Catherine Farmer Loya, Director of Religious Education
and Rev. Rebecca Benefiel Bijur

From Our President: 

Our church is an institution that exists solely because we want it to exist. It is rare in that respect. There is no “us” and “them” here. There is no federal or state bureaucracy, nor any federal or state aid. There are national and regional organizations, which offer us the benefit of their experience and facilitate our communication with other institutions throughout the country, but they do not dictate to us, or give us money. We must support them financially, if they are to continue to be there as a resource. Our volunteer leaders come from among us, and we take turns conducting the daily business and working to steer our ship in the direction of love and justice. Currently it is my turn to stand at the helm. I sign the checks and run the meetings and spend a great deal of time thinking about ways to make my decisions and actions count towards building an institution which is a transformative force in our lives and in the world. I can tell you that sometimes it feels lonely at the top.

On October 7, we will have a town hall meeting to discuss the replacement of the roof, and decisions related to the replacement of the roof and the future of our sanctuary building. This is your chance to become informed and to share your experience and insights with the other members of our congregation. This is how our governance system works. It is a democratic system. It works well only if we commit to it and understand that these decisions are ours alone to make. We elect a president and a board, and they handle many financial and policy decisions. The big decisions are made by all of us together.

Come to the meeting. Roof replacement is a practical matter—a matter of clay and asphalt, concrete and wood. As always, there are real choices to be made. How safe is safe enough? How beautiful is beautiful enough? How do we best and most responsibly confront the reality of our limited financial resources? Come to the meeting. Offer me your support. Let me know your thoughts. In this way, we will move forward with a decision, which will be good enough for all of us.

Cynthia Cottam

News & Announcements: 

CareNet offers meals, rides and cards to church members and friends. If you have such a need or know of someone who does, please call the church office, email carenet@uusm.org or call Karl Lisovsky.

 

 

 

 

Building News: 

Letter to the Editor

 
Roof Opinion
 
After having put a great deal of time into researching issues relating to roof replacement, I decided in August that my presence at board and Facilities Development Committee meetings was becoming divisive. So I have resigned from the FDC and stopped participating in the project. What follows is purely my personal opinion.
 
Compared to eight years ago we have an enormously improved physical facility. We acquired the Cottage,
renovated it, completely renovated Forbes and installed all new landscaping. Our church campus is much more
spacious, beautiful, and safe. Over the same period our membership and average Sunday attendance have declined. In my view our congregation needs to focus now on the reasons we have a building, especially on life within our congregation and service and outreach to the larger community.
 
There are plenty of churches in this country with magnificent, empty buildings. Arlington Street and King's Chapel are two famous Boston UU churches with memberships considerably smaller than ours.
 
If we simply replace the existing roof, it will not leak and will look significantly better. We can always replace the
lower asphalt with tile at any time in the future when we have the will and resources, i.e., $370,000. I therefore
suggest deferring the work required to install tile on the lower roofs until we conduct a major remodel of the
Sanctuary interior, some years in the future.
 
But a more important issue is the unity of our congregation. About half of all church building programs fail. The
usual problems are that the leadership was not united or that the leadership made promises to the congregation it could not keep. The costs of failure are often enormous. Donors quit and ministers get fired.
 
Because of this danger, I do not believe that the church should start any expensive building activity without a strong consensus in support of the plan and plenty of money in the bank. At the least, the minister, president, and board need to be publicly committed to the plan. So unless there is a strong leadership consensus, I think we should just live with the leaky roof.
 
Tom Hamilton
Faith in Action News: 

Santa Monica Car Wash Denied City Contract

We learned at a meeting of Clergy & Laity United for Economic Justice (CLUE-LA) on September 10 that the City of Santa Monica has decided to consider labor and environmental factors in awarding/renewing contracts for the washing city vehicles. Because it did not qualify under the new standards, Santa Monica Car Wash, at Pico and 25 th St., did not have its contract renewed.

Bonus Car Wash, the only unionized car wash in or near Santa Monica, made a bid but did not get a contract
because of an environmental issue related to a water tank. All the work went to Lincoln Car Wash (which already
had two-thirds of the city's vehicle-wash work); Lincoln Car Wash has an environmental issue similar to Bonus Car Wash's but has a plan in place to fix it. Bonus management says it will develop such a plan. Discount coupons for Bonus Car Wash are available at the Faith in Action table in Forbes Hall.

Many of the workers at Santa Monica Car Wash want a union contract, and former workers there have joined a
class-action lawsuit to recover wages lost to alleged violations of wage-and-hour laws. Ben Damavandi, of the
family that owns the carwash, told CLUE leaders that if the workers wanted a union he would not stand in their way. Shortly thereafter, management distributed a document to the workers entitled “Learn the Truth Before You Sign an Authorization Card! 36 Things the Union Cannot Do for You.”

Among the first 13 on the list of things the union cannot do are “pay your benefits,” “prevent firings,” “guarantee
raises or better wages,” “guarantee more vacation,” and “guarantee paid sick days.” Of course, among the things that union contacts do guarantee are wages, vacation, sick days, benefits, and the prevention of firings without just cause. Number 22 on the list: “The union cannot guarantee time and a half (overtime).” That’s revealing, because extra payment for overtime is required by state law.

Following the CLUE meeting September 10, about 15 of us, including UUers Patrick Meighan and Rick Rhoads
(see photo), visited Santa Monica Car Wash. In the absence of Ben Damavandi we spoke to Shawn Damavandi,
Ben’s son. Most of the talking was done by the Damavandi’s co-religionists, Rabbi Neil Comess-Daniels of Beth Shir Shalom; Rabbi Jonathan Klein, executive director of CLUE-LA; and Leslie Gersicoff, executive director of the Jewish Labor Committee. They urged Ben to join his father and mother in having a change of heart in their attitude to their workers.

29th Annual Latin American Encuentro

The Mexico/U.S. Border: Immigration Issues Affect Us All Sponsored by the UU Service Committee, Southern California Unit at Throop Memorial Church in Pasadena, 300 S. Los Robles Ave.

Saturday, October 13, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.

We are proud to feature three locally famous speakers:

• Blase Bonpane from KPFK Radio and Director of Office of the Americas
• Gustavo Arellano, editor of the “OC Weekly,” author of several books, and editor of the column “Ask a
Mexican”
• Norma Chinchilla, Sociology Professor at California State University Long Beach, author of several books
and articles about Latin America and Women

After the speakers and lunch (vegetarian options included), there will be time for breakout groups: 

• DREAM students
• Immigration detention visitation and bonding–out programs
• Taking Action / UU Legislative Ministry

Splinters from the Board: 

President Cynthia Cottam spoke of the success of the Second Sunday Supper hosted by the Membership Committee, especially acknowledging the committee’s effort to welcome new members to attend. Church administrator Nurit Gordon announced that new members Mahin Rahimzadeh and Jasmine Chazelle bring our total membership to 375. A Newcomer Orientation was held on September 18.

Though there is no real progress in the search for a new church organist, Rev. Rebecca Benefiel Bijur declared that she “loves working with” new Director of Music, DeReau Farrar.

Our treasurer, Kit Shaw, reported that some money from UUCCSM’s Merrill Lynch Money Market account of
$500,275 will be returned to CDs. Nurit has been working with the Finance Committee to identify budget items that should be included in next year’s budget. Karen Patch, Wendi Gladstone, and Melanie Sharp are appointed to the Financial Review Committee in accordance with church Financial Policy C4.10.

The board will actively seek members to join the church’s Stewardship Committee. Cynthia also reported a
productive meeting with Patricia Wright of the Long Range Planning Committee.

Continuing their ongoing discussion of roof replacement options, most board members expressed an aesthetic
preference for an historically accurate tile roof; still, consensus was that expensive tile roofing and auxiliary
expenses are not where UUCCSM funds and energy need to go at this time. There is $23,688 in the roof fund.
The board will seek a qualified engineer’s opinion regarding seismic safety. At a Town Hall meeting on Sunday,
October 7, all members will discuss this important decision of aesthetics, safety, and finances.

Jennifer Westbay

RE News: 

Children’s RE

This month in the children’s RE program, preschoolers will explore symbols and images of Unitarian Universalism and our very own UUCCSM community. Early elementary participants will engage this month’s theme of Letting Go through stories and special class activities, including the creation of “calming beads” to help us learn how to let go of angry feelings.

Upper elementary children in the UUniverse Story program will take part in a three-week unit called “And Then
There Was Light,” which lays the groundwork for understanding much about astronomy and cosmology and will
include experimenting with lenses and prisms, creating our own spectroscopes, and measuring the speed of light in class using a microwave oven and chocolate bars.

Middle-schoolers in the Compass Points classes will set off on their year-long spiritual journey by taking a look
at what they are carrying with them as they go, and will then move on to thinking about the concept of radical
hospitality and what it means for the way we treat one another in our RE classrooms (and whole church).

And on October 28, children, youth and adults will wrap up this month’s theme together with our annual Day of the Dead Intergenerational Sunday services.

Youth Programs

Coming of Age and YRUU are off to a great start, with plans for monthly joint social events I the works — families should stay tuned for more details to come. We are very excited about what is in the pipeline for youth at UUCCSM this year, most notably the launch of a new Youth Leadership Team for YRUU, meeting twice per month with the support of Catherine Farmer Loya, Rev. Ernie Pipes, and Jacki Weber, to intentionally develop the leadership of our high school youth as they coordinate their special events for the year, including this year’s “big trip” (possibly a UU Heritage trip to Boston or a service trip to New Orleans), attendance at weekend-long youth conferences and the possibility of hosting one here at UUCCSM later in the spring, social justice projects for YRUU, and much more. Any youth who would like to participate in the Youth Leadership Team are welcome: talk with Catherine Farmer Loya for more information. We also have big plans in the works for Coming of Age: we hope to take our whole group to the Coming of Age-themed Junior High winter camp at de Beneville Pines at the end of November, and are exploring other possibilities for outings and community-building events. Three cheers for our wonderful advisors: Liza Cranis, Nalani Santiago-Kalmanson, Valeo Schults, and Larry Weiner for Coming of Age; and Chris Brown, Emily Linnemeier, Dan Patterson, and Rick Rhoads for YRUU.

Adults

Patio Chat:  

monthly UUCCSM Theme Discussion with Leon Henderson-MacLennan@ 10:10 a.m. on the Patio

Sunday, October 21 — Letting Go

 

 

Historical Roots and Contemporary Uses of the Labyrinth

Sunday, November 4, 12:30 pm

Annemarie Rawlinson, labyrinth facilitator and builder, will share fascinating stories and facts about ancient and
contemporary labyrinths. She trained with Dr. Lauren Artress from Grace Cathedral in 1996 and has since then
lectured in the greater Los Angeles area and installed various labyrinths in public and private places, among them a Cretan labyrinth at Harbor-UCLA Medical Center in Torrance, one at Van Nuys Middle School, and a garden labyrinth at Christ the King Lutheran Church in Torrance. Annemarie also designed a new heart-shaped labyrinth pattern that has been permanently installed on a beach in Palos Verdes.

So what actually happens when people walk the labyrinth?

"As we walk within the sacred geometry of the labyrinth we align ourselves energetically to the truth of its
form within our being. The action of this recognition can create windows to mystical remembrance, where form
and formlessness, time and eternity, matter and spirit meet. As we walk the form we invoke a recognition of its
energetic signature within our own body and being. This recognition unveils a template wherein every step along the path becomes a symbolic representation for our life and the way we approach it." — Annemarie Rawlinson

This is an awareness we can have outside of the labyrinth as well, although the labyrinth is like a vortex because of its geometry coupled with the intent and focus of those that set it up, those that walk it now and the vibration of those who have walked it before.” — Prof. Ellen Davis of Duke Divinity
School

On Sunday, November 4, at 12:30 p.m. Annemarie will bring her portable labyrinth and will give instructions on
how to walk it to those who have never walked one before. Sign up in Forbes Hall at the Lifespan Table.

 

Lessons of Loss

Facilitated by Leon Henderson-MacLennan

WHEN: Thursday evenings from 7 to 9 p.m.
October 4, 18, 25, and November 1

WHERE: Upstairs, Forbes Hall

Explore 
- Types of loss
- Language of loss
- Inevitability of loss
- The relationship between loss and gain
- The grieving process
- The roles of religious community

Share 
- Your understanding of loss
- Coping skills and strategies 

Learn 
- Skills designed to incorporate loss into life
- Grief reduction through sharing
- UU Guiding Principles 

Sign up on Sunday mornings in Forbes Hall at the Lifespan Table.

Small Group Ministry — Coming in 2013

The Small Group Ministry program will begin anew in 2013. Participants in a Small Group Ministry group get to know one another and deepen their own spirituality by participating in personal sharing around topics related to the big questions of life. The spirit of community that develops in a group radiates outward, increasing the members' connection to UUCCSM and to the world at large.

Small Group Ministry groups have a unique set of features that make them different from study groups, classes,
committees, task forces, support groups, or any of the other church related groups.
 
The groups are people-centered rather than task-centered; they are designed to foster connections between
people.
 
The groups are ongoing rather than time̶̶-limited, offering time for developing deeper connections.
 
The groups are an important ministry of the church and are integrated into the larger life of the church
 
The groups give back to the church and the larger community via a group service project each year for the
church and for the community.
 
There's more to come. You'll be hearing a lot about Small Group Ministry in the coming months. Registration
begins January 13.
 

October 2012 - Letting Go - Quotes from Bettye Barclay

 
OCTOBER 1. It’s easy to come up with new ideas; the hard part is letting go of what worked for you two years ago, but will soon be out of date. Roger von Oech
 
OCTOBER 2. Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go. Hermann Hesse
 
OCTOBER 3. When you’re passionate about something, you want it to be all it can be. But in the endgame of life, I fundamentally believe the key to happiness is letting go of that idea of perfection. Debra Messing
 
OCTOBER 4. When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. Lao Tzu
 
OCTOBER 5. The hardest part is what to leave behind … It’s time to let go! A. A. Milne (“Winnie The Pooh”)
 
OCTOBER 6. We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. Joseph
Campbell
 
OCTOBER 7. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Anais Nin
 
OCTOBER 8. Our work is to interpret this Life/Death/Life cycle, to live it as gracefully as we know how, to howl
like a mad dog when we cannot … and to go on …. Clarissa Pinkola Estés
 
OCTOBER 9. There’s a trick to the Graceful Exit. It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, a
relationship is over — and to let go. It means leaving what’s over without denying its value. Ellen Goodman
 
OCTOBER 10. Can you let go of words and ideas, attitudes and expectations? If so, then the Tao will loom into
view. Lao Tzu
 
OCTOBER 11. Let Go, Let God. Anonymous
 
OCTOBER 12. Even as kids reach adolescence, they need more than ever for us to watch over them. Adolescence is not about letting go. It’s about hanging on during a very bumpy ride. Ron Taffel
 
OCTOBER 13. Creativity can be described as letting go of certainties. Gail Sheehy
 
OCTOBER 14. Letting go means closing a door in order to be able to open another one. Bettye Barclay
 
OCTOBER 15. I realize there’s something incredibly honest about trees in winter, how they’re experts at letting
things go. Jeffrey McDaniel
 
OCTOBER 16. Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it. Ann Landers
 
OCTOBER 17. You must have been warned against letting the golden hours slip by. Yes, but some of them are
golden only because we let them slip. J. M. Barrie
 
OCTOBER 18. All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on. Henry Havelock Ellis
 
OCTOBER 19. Letting go of expectations makes it possible to approach life with expectancy. Bettye Barclay
 
OCTOBER 20 Before moving on you have to clear away your cherished beliefs. Dick Raymond
 
OCTOBER 21 Be willing to let go of those beliefs that represent your parents’ opinions, or your communities'
opinions, rather than your own. Those beliefs that withstand rigorous testing should become the foundation of your being — your reason for living. Take action on those beliefs. Jonathan Lockwood Huie
 
OCTOBER 22 Inner peace can be reached only when we practice forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of the past, and is therefore the means for correcting our misperceptions. Gerald Jampolsky
 
OCTOBER 23 Let go of the past and move on with creating a joyful new future for yourself. Jonathan Lockwood
Huie
 
OCTOBER 24. Could you risk believing that everything will unfold just fine if you completely let go of all concern
about everything else, and simply are here, now — if only for a moment? Dmitri Bilgere
 
OCTOBER 25. Letting go doesn’t mean giving up … it means moving on. Anonymous
 
OCTOBER 26. A big part of letting go is recognizing when it is time to stay in a situation and when it is time to
move on. Darren L. Johnson
 
OCTOBER 27. Everything flows and nothing abides, everything gives way and nothing stays fixed. Heraclitus
 
OCTOBER 28. Letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life. Anonymous
 
OCTOBER 29. The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking. Albert Einstein
 
OCTOBER 30. Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. Thich Naht Hanh
 
OCTOBER 31. Detachment means letting go and non-attachment means simply letting be. Stephen Levine
 

Fall Meditation Class

 
Our fall eight-week class entitled A Useful Toolbox of Meditations will start on Wednesday, October 10, at 7:15
p.m. in the SE room of the Cottage.
 
Meditation can teach us to become more mindful. This class also will stress inquiry and the resolution of personal issues such as hardships at work or emotional discomfort in a relationship. This is Bill’s eighth class. All have facilitated both mindfulness and inquiry, collectively known as “growing up.” Yet these classes so far have not focused on the distinction between “growing up” (emotional/mental maturity) and “waking up” (recognizing What We Are, spiritual awakening). This class will address both growing up and waking up: half the classes will be devoted to meditations pointing toward enlightenment.
 
Why are eight to ten meditations taught? In addition to the two major goals in this October class, participants will be attracted to some meditations but not to others, similar to their preferences for food, clothes, housing, and friends. When a participant finishes this class, he or she has a self–selected “toolbox” of meditations.
 
During each class, participants receive a handout describing a particular meditation. Then we discuss this handout. Next we do the meditation and share our experiences with it. Finally, this meditation is practiced as homework at least once a day. When our class again meets, we comment on our perceptions about this meditation. In this fashion, the class is experiential and learner-centered, not cognitive and teacher-centered. To sum up, the class presents the opportunity to commence mastery of any preferred meditation. Scientific research proves that meditation increases our life span and happiness.
 
We’ll organize learner groups that can email, phone, or have lunch with a couple of other members. Support from other participants is important. Participants will be expected to attend at least six of the eight classes. Newcomers to meditation are 100% welcome.
 
Bill Blake

 

Music News: 

Introducing Our New Director of Music, DeReau K. Farrar

On Ingathering Sunday, September 9, UUCCSM's new Director of Music ("DofM"), DeReau Farrar, was introduced at both services, and our choir sang for the first time in the fall after two Thursday evening rehearsals together.

DeReau introduced himself to the DofM Search Committee last May with this message: "My experience in church and sacred music for the past 10 years has been extremely rich and diverse, and I look forward to expanding that knowledge further." A tryout rehearsal with DeReau and our choir was publicly announced for August 23, and the unanimously positive feedback convinced the Search Committee and Rev. Bijur to offer him the position.

DeReau was born in West Covina and grew up splitting time between parents there and in Pasadena. His early
religious life centered in the generally fundamentalist Church of Christ, and later on he carefully examined Christian and Jewish scriptures in his own journey. As an adult he has spent time at the Lake Avenue Church in Pasadena, and most recently All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena. At this point he feels entirely compatible with and supportive of Unitarian Universalism as he continues his spiritual development.

In music, DeReau has sung professionally off Broadway and with the Lyric Opera of Chicago, Los Angeles
Opera, the Los Angeles Philharmonic, and the Albert McNeil Jubilee Singers. He has appeared in recitals and
concerts throughout the U.S. and also in Germany, Austria, Switzerland, and Spain. Back in California he has been associated with the Verdi Chorus in Santa Monica since 2003 and became their Assistant Conductor in 2005. He was appointed Artistic Director of the Selah Gospel Choir of Pasadena in 2007 and has led local productions of “TheWiz,“ “Ragtime,” “The Laramie Project,” and music projects at many public and private high schools. In addition to conducting, DeReau plays the piano and is a published arranger of music.

DeReau welcomes everyone's input on music at our church and he plans to spend time on Sunday mornings getting to know as many people as possible. As chair of the DofM Search Committee, I want to say this: DeReau is a remarkable individual with maturity, perspective, and presence way beyond his years. His musicianship is stellar,but his style is casual and collaborative. Hiring him was a unique opportunity and I hope everyone will work with him to maximize the possibilities. There are new roads to travel and it's exciting for us to have an impact on DeReau at this stage in his life. UUCCSM's music program was conducted at a very high level for a decade under Steve Wight, followed by a year of seeking and transition under Seth Houston. I'm confident that music at UUCCSM will evolve further under DeReau's leadership, and enrich our lives in new ways.

Rob Briner