Newsletter for July, 2016
From Our Minister:
Start with the Step You Don't Want to Take
Dear friends,
My heart is aching as we continue to mourn in the aftermath of the tragic attacks in Orlando, which took place on the same day that we sent our marchers to the L.A. Pride Parade in solidarity for love and equality. I hope we will meet the challenge of these days with a renewed commitment to love and justice, which must include a more common sense approach to gun control in this country. We must change.
In the realm of congregational life, as you will read about elsewhere in this newsletter, your board took a big and positive step at their first meeting as newly elected leaders to commit to a 12- to 18-month right relations process with our congregational consultant, Nancy Edmundson. While the process is long and will ask a lot of you, your board, and me, I am hopeful and greet this new step with a spirit of renewed dedication to our community and our faith. When I first met Nancy earlier this spring, she sent me a poem by David Whyte that begins,
Start close in,
don’t take the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step
you don’t want to take.
When it comes to navigating disagreement, sometimes it is hardest and best to start close in, and not get too far out ahead too fast. Sometimes the first step is a step backwards, even. But as long as we keep walking together, we’ll find our way.
Much heart,
Rev. Rebecca
PS: One step I do not want to take is to say farewell to my colleague and friend, Catherine Farmer Loya, as she and her family depart for Knoxville, TN. It has been a joy and an honor to collaborate with Catherine for the past six years and receive the gifts of her intellect, kindness, and integrity through her commitment and dedication to excellence for our religious exploration programs for children, youth, and adults. I have been deeply inspired and warmly embraced by her vision of our faith, and I will miss her. Please help us celebrate Catherine at a
special service and reception July 10.
PPS: Here is the full text of the poem Nancy sent me:
START CLOSE IN
By David Whyte
Start close in,
don’t take the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step
you don’t want to take.
Start with
the ground
you know,
the pale ground
beneath your feet,
your own
way of starting
the conversation.
Start with your own
question,
give up on other
people’s questions,
don’t let them
smother something
simple.
To find
another’s voice,
follow
your own voice,
wait until
that voice
becomes a
private ear
listening
to another.
Start right now
take a small step
you can call your own
don’t follow
someone else’s
heroics, be humble
and focused,
start close in,
don’t mistake
that other
for your own.
Start close in,
don’t take
the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step
you don’t want to take.
From Our President:
The Board at Work and the Task Force on Right Relations
Of late, the most asked questions by congregants are, “What does right relations mean and how does this process work?” I can’t give you a course in Right Relationships but I can tell you of the work done so far.
The Board and Nancy Edmundson spent 12 hours on Friday and Saturday, June 18 and 19, working together to learn and share in answering these questions.
The scope of work and qualities needed of task force members, conflict management, and creating a board covenant were our major focuses.
In the next few weeks the board will appoint 10 to 12 members to the Long Range Right Relations Task Force. They in turn will have their trainings and begin the process enumerated under “scope of work” below.
We have many members who have expressed interest in being involved in our congregation-wide Right Relations process. Should you not be on the list of task force members at this time, you should know that we have many more qualified people than we have positions to fill. We are also attending to a balance of diversity of numerous sorts, such as chronological age, gender, and years of membership. But you won’t be left out of the process, as there will be plenty of opportunities to engage in and support the work of the congregation-wide yearlong effort.
Following are the items authored by Nancy and adopted in current form by the board:
Right Relations Task Force members collectively as a group should possess the following qualities:
• Recent experience in our community life and currently active
• Credibility within the congregation: seen as trustworthy by most (due to current conflict, “by most” becomes important vs. “by all”)
• Ability to listen to and hear different points of view (with understanding that individuals within the group are likely to have varied points of view about current conflicts)
• Good communication skills
• Experience with, or capacity to develop, small group cofacilitation
• Committed to a right relations process in the congregation without attachments to specific outcomes
• In considering the “full task force”— members of the congregation can likely identify with or “see themselves” in
someone on the task group
• Available mid-July 2016 through June 2017 (perhaps later); able to meet up to two times per month and on several weekends Scope of work for Task Force members:
• Two evening meetings per month
• Several Friday evening/Saturday congregation events
• Video/phone conferences
• Staffing information tables on Sundays on occasion
• Co-facilitation of small conversation groups
• Attendance at other UUCCSM committee/group meetings on occasion
• Full engagement in the process, and consider a modest amount of reading material assigned by Nancy in support of the task force’s work
• Communication with UU Santa Monica congregation
• Possible continuation in the ongoing Right Relations conversations and activities, at a leadership level but not
necessarily on the longer-term task force The process of learning about ourselves and our community promises profound influence on us as individuals and on us as a community.
Thank you all,
— Ron Crane
Featured Articles:
Quotes About Vision:
Lois Hutchinson has provided these quotations that relate to our ministerial theme for July. They are attributed to the sources listed, but our fact-checking department has been unable to confirm authorship.
My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness. — The Dalai Lama
Peace among religions is a precondition for world peace. — Swami Agnivesh
No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite. — Nelson Mandela
We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love...and then we return home. — Australian Aboriginal saying
UU Role in Roe v. Wade
In her sermon here June 19, guest minister Rev. Lee Marie Sanchez included a little-known fact, even in UU circles. I’ll quote here a version from the UUA website:
“The Women’s Alliance at First Unitarian Church in Dallas was a major supporter of Roe v. Wade when it began its journey through the Texas court system. The congregation’s leaders encouraged the lead attorney, Sarah Weddington, to pursue the case even though she was beginning her career and was not sure she wanted to be
involved in such a controversial case. Weddington and members of the Alliance received the Unitarian Universalist Women’s Federation Ministry to Women Award in 2005 for their work.”
— Peggy Rhoads
News & Announcements:
The UU Banner is Installed!
PLEASE MARK YOUR CALENDARS
August 21 will be our Ingathering Services at 9 am and 11 am! In this experimental year, we are trying out realigning the church year with the calendars of many local schools, including the Santa Monica-Malibu School District and Los Angeles Unified School District, which begin well before Labor Day. This will give us an early Ingathering Service August 21, when kids are going back to school, and also allow us, especially our families with kids, to get into our rhythm of two services for a few weeks before our annual all-church weekend at Camp de Benneville Pines September 16 to 18.
Focus on GA
Peggy and Rick Rhoads getting ready for the banner parade at the opening ceremony of the UUA General
Assembly June 22 in Columbus, OH. Our service July 24 will focus on the GA. Photo by Georgiana Hart.
Come join us for FOOD, FUN, AND FELLOWSHIP!
...at the Annual All-Church Interweave* & Women’s Alliance PICNIC, Sunday, July 31, 11 am (just after the 10 am service) Church Courtyard. Proceeds from the picnic will be donated to The Trevor Project, the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to bisexual, gay, lesbian, transgender, and queer/questioning (BGLTQ) young people. If you have questions or would like to provide a dish for the picnic or help on the day of the picnic, please contact Kris Langabeer.
*Interweave is our church’s group for BGLTQ individuals and our friends and allies.
Faith in Action News:
Video of Interfaith Solidarity March Now Available on YouTube
A 25-member contingent of UU Santa Monica congregants marched in solidarity with the Muslim Community on March 6. A professional video that includes this event was posted on the Netmediatama Official YouTube Channel June 12. You will see our banner and signs and many faces you will recognize. Start watching at 14:00 minutes.
— Rick Rhoads
WHY “BLACK LIVES MATTER”
The Peace and Social Justice Committee/Faith in Action presented a resolution at the annual meeting of UU Santa Monica to display the banner: “Standing on the Side of Love/Black Lives Matter” in front of the church permanently—i.e., all day every day, rather than just a few hours during Sunday services. Following a spirited discussion that raised a number of important questions, the resolution passed by a wide margin.
Among the questions raised was why, given the many groups and issues needing attention, were we focusing on this one? A related question was why not work with long-standing organizations which were already active on issues such as racism? The following is an effort to address these issues.
Members of PSJ/FIA, individually and collectively, share concerns of many in the congregation with a broad range of social justice issues and work with various organizations having similar concerns. However, the committee is able to focus on only a limited number of issues, one of which is racism, including mass incarceration, which disproportionately affects blacks and other people of color. The committee also reflects the priorities of many members of our congeregation.
Within this context, the banner recognizes a significant grassroots movement that has emerged in several parts of the country and attained national momentum. It addresses a major issue in the black community: police brutality and specifically the frequent police shootings of blacks, often unarmed, and the fact that few police officers have suffered any consequences for these acts.
The Black Lives Matter movement is not only widespread but has been effective in focusing attention to and scrutiny of police departments throughout the country. It thus has strategic significance and has resulted in some efforts at reform in several police departments and in the formation of groups to improve police/community relations. It is important that this focus and these efforts continue.
UU Santa Monica support for Black Lives Matter is in keeping with long-time activities of members of PSJ/FIA and the congregation. In response to the killing of unarmed people of color in Venice, PSJ/FIA organized and led several marches and rallies in Venice Beach that were covered by local radio, TV, and print media. And our church members have participated with the Committee for Racial Justice and other groups in a series of meetings designed to improve police-community relations in Venice and other parts of L.A. County.
Finally, the 2015 UUA General Assembly passed an Action of Immediate Witness calling on UU congregations to support Black Lives Matter, which provided a further impetus for displaying the banner here, thus coordinating with UUs throughout the country on a timely and visible issue. In summary, the full-time display of the banner reflects the concerns of UUA and other UUs as well as our congregation for black lives, and it bears public witness to our support for a significant and effective movement to bring social justice to one of the most oppressed groups in our society.
— Nora Hamilton and Jila Tayefehnowrooz
Marching in the Los Angeles Pride Parade
On Sunday, June 12, a group of marchers left UU Santa Monica right before the 10 am service on a bus headed to the Pride Parade. Karl [Lisovsky] and I were already there, having checked in at 8 am with the rental truck. He and I were busily decorating it and enjoying the euphoria that always accompanies this day. “Happy Pride!” says everyone who passes by.
At around 9:40 am, Rev. Rebecca phoned me. After we exchanged hellos, she asked, “Have you heard about the event?” “What event?”
Rev. Rebecca took a deep breath and proceeded to tell me about the massacre in Orlando. I stood there stunned, not able to comprehend the enormity of what she was saying. I could sense in her voice that in her heart she wished she could just leave her responsibilities at church and board the bus with the other riders. Not yet knowing about the man arrested in Santa Monica with guns and bomb material in his car, I told her, “Well, this is probably the safest place I could be right now. And organized religion must have a voice here.”
I’ve been marching in this parade for around a decade. People on the sidelines often thank us for marching. But this year, I sensed a stronger feeling of gratitude for our message. One of the signs we carry resonated particularly strongly with parade-goers. On one side it says, “We teach our kids love”; on the other side, “Not h8.” Over and over again, I saw faces change from general bystander goodwill to a surprised and grateful recognition as we got close enough for them to read that sign carefully. Many folks grabbed their phones and took photos of it.
It’s a thing of beauty and wonder, looking eye to eye with another human being, a stranger, and feeling such warmth and connection. We were only 24 marchers this year, not a big group, but as I told Rebecca on the phone, “We are in the right place at the right time.”
— Janet Goodwin
UUs Participate in 3 Vigils in Response to Orlando Massacre
Members and friends of our congregation joined other Angelenos who were appalled by the massacre June 12 in Orlando’s Pulse nightclub and who wanted to express their support for the victims and their families, for the LGBT community, and for the Muslim community. Muslims have been subject to increased vilification based on their religion, ethnicity, and so-called race following the attack by an individual who claimed allegiance to ISIS.
UUs participated in:
• An interfaith gathering at the Islamic Center of Southern California June 13, co-sponsored by the center and Interfaith Communities United for Justice and Peace.
• A 7,000-strong demonstration at L.A. City Hall sponsored by the Los Angeles LGBT Center, also on June 13.
• A vigil June 14 at Santa Monica City Hall, sponsored by the Santa Monica Interfaith Council.
Update on Justice for Brendon Glenn Campaign
Our colleagues at First Unitarian Church of Los Angeles light “candles of justice” as part of their Sunday service. They have adopted the following language to be repeated each week:
“We light a candle of justice for all victims of state violence motivated by racism, prejudice, and fear, and specifically in memory of Brendon Glenn, shot in May, 2015 by an LAPD officer in Venice. This church actively works to seek justice for Mr. Glenn and others, and calls to action all those who support this cause.
“And we light a candle of justice for all persons moving across national borders in search of better lives. Our
congregation works to insure that such persons in our county are treated with compassion and that our Federal Government create policies that recognize their inherent worth and dignity.”
The LAPD chief of police and the Police Commission have recommended that Clifford Proctor, the cop who shot Brendon Glenn, be prosecuted. District Attorney Jackie Lacey, however, has not acted, and claims that her office is “still investigating” the shooting, which took place May 5, 2015.
UUSM and First Church representatives to jUUstice LA, a newly formed social justice group uniting the 12 UU
congregations in L.A. County, have pushed for a countywide campaign to demand that Lacey prosecute Proctor and that the video showing the killing be released. To be continued.
— Rick Rhoads
Splinters from the Board:
Right Relations “Flight Plan” Approved
The first meeting of the new board took place June 14 with 13 guests and Nancy Edmundson, our consultant, in attendance. Nancy lit the chalice in the spirit of new beginnings, love, and belonging. Following a round of introductions and welcome to new board members, President Ron Crane introduced a rigorous timeline for preparing agendas for executive (Exec) committee and board meetings, emphasizing that agendas, consent agenda reports, and minutes will be made available to the congregation in a timely fashion on the members-only website.
The board had received “Proposed Right Relations Process for UUCCSM” and an associated timeline for implementation from Nancy along with the Short Term Right Relations (RR) Task Force, whose charter was to develop a “flight plan” to start the RR process. The proposal was built by Nancy to be responsive to the work of the Short Term RR Task Force. Nancy extended an invitation to the board and its guests to submit questions relating to the process. Questions addressed the process so far, how members were invited or chosen for critical conversations, whether more training is needed before moving forward, and how immediate conflict might be addressed before moving forward with right relations. The importance of hearing stories in a climate of appreciative inquiry before moving ahead was emphasized. There may also be a need for a conflict resolution task force separate from the RR process. This effort will take time (12 to 18 months) because changing habits and culture is not easy. There will be multiple opportunities for members of the congregation to participate in the RR effort.
The proposal for moving forward with RR was approved by the board with the timeline to be adjusted as needed. Also approved by prior email vote was $1,200 for Nancy to conduct the June 17 to 18 board leadership retreat for RR planning, at which a Long Term Right Relations Task Force (LTTF) will be appointed and finalized by July 4. The exact wording of the motions can be found in the board minutes on the members-only section of the website. Board actions and LTTF updates will be communicated to the congregation through emails, newsletter articles, and pulpit announcements.
The process for email voting was addressed. How to conduct email votes is stated in the board’s policies (C2.5: Board Decision Making Outside of Regular Meetings). The level of urgency that might need to lead to an email vote is up to the discretion of the president. In general, hesitancy and discretion in engaging in email conversations was emphasized. The process for responding to requests made of the staff by church members was also briefly discussed and will be revisited at Exec session and at the July board meeting. In the meantime, such requests should be made to the president or to the minister.
Kim Miller gave a brief treasurer’s report. The lag in pledges is offset by income from Dining for Dollars, rentals, and the Garden of Eternity.
A Bylaws and Policies Committee, which existed in the past, has been recreated as a subcommittee of the board. Members are Jerry Gates, Emily Hero, and Rev. Rebecca. The initial task is to determine whether there are inconsistencies in existing bylaws and policies and to update them based on recent changes. Our bylaws and policies are the core of our governance. The Bylaws and Policies Committee will conduct the necessary reviews and report back to the board in one month, following which the scope of the committee may be expanded.
Details and recommendations on the search process for the Director of Religious Education (DRE), Catherine Farmer Loya’s replacement; and the Director of Music (DOM), DeReau Farrar’s replacement, were presented by Catherine and Rev. Rebecca and discussed by all. The board authorized the conduct of a search for both positions and approved the DOM job description. Concern that the DOM job description did not include guest musicians but only piano accompaniment at the 9 am service was expressed because music is so important to the experience in church and most families with children attend the early service.
Catherine’s presence at her last UU Santa Monica board meeting was acknowledged, as was how much she would be missed! There is still time for our farewell to her.
The meeting was adjourned at a timely 9:30 pm following check out.
— Patricia Wright
RE News:
Parting is Such Sweet...Separation
As our time together draws to a close, I want you to know that I have deeply loved working hand in hand with this community to bring your vision for Lifespan RE programs to life over the last 13 years. We have done a good job of celebrating that relationship over the last month, and now we move into the time of saying goodbye. I do so with deep affection in my heart for all of you, and also a deep commitment to upholding the guidelines and best practices for religious professionals leaving their staff positions.
You have work to do, as you move into this transitional time and prepare for welcoming a new DRE. A big part of that work is reminding yourself that your staff member is not your program. Like ministers, religious educators have professional guidelines that urge us to leave when we leave — to not remain tied to the congregation through continued contact and news-sharing with members.
Please know that this separation and intentional severing of contact for a time does not indicate a lack of caring for you and your families — indeed, it is a hard line for me to draw. But my role as a staff member has always been to serve the health of the congregation, not use my connections to the congregation to meet my own needs, and this is especially true now. Your next DRE will be able to fill the role I leave only if I have truly left. I have no desire to be a ghost that hangs over the shoulder of my successor, keeping my fingers in the life of the congregation from afar. I can only hope that the outgoing DRE of the congregation I will serve next shows me the same consideration.
What does this mean? It means that I will not be in direct contact with congregants after July 10. I will not respond to personal emails or phone calls, and I will not be commenting on your Facebook posts or talking with you about what is going on at UU Santa Monica. I will be available as a resource for your next DRE or other UU Santa Monica staff for a time, to ease the transfer of institutional memory about RE to those who will be serving you in the future. I share these very clear boundaries because I want it not to be a surprise, this separation that is a clearing of space for new life to grow in relationship with your new staff member(s).
This month I am finding myself sitting in a strange inbetween place, with many small goodbyes that lead up to the big goodbye July 10. So here is one more: goodbye, my beloved UUSM members and friends and children and youth. I leave with love, and wish you the very best in the future which you will create together.
— Catherine Loya
Summer 2016 Adult RE Groups
GROUPS CONTINUING IN JULY
Thursday Night Centering Meditation
7 pm to 8:30 pm Cottage SE
We will do centering meditation where you choose a word to say silently to yourself as you enter the silence. You can choose a word such as “peace,” “love,” or “joy.” There will be a brief time of comments, sharing, and questions. We will end the evening with a guided mindfulness meditation.
Please contact facilitator Bettye Barclay beforehand.
NEW GROUP FOR JULY, ONWARDS
Monday Night Monthly Meditation
“An Enjoyable Dive into the Who and What We Are”
This ongoing, once-a-month class is presented to help participants master specific meditation skills. We endeavor to answer the questions Who am I (attitudes and beliefs)? and What am I (essence or true nature)? This class will include meditations that explore participants’ spiritual goals. The monthly group meetings will also focus on insights gained throughout the month. The class is open to everyone from beginners to experienced. No meditation experience required. It is encouraged that participants cultivate a regular
meditation practice through participation.
First Session: July 11th
After July: The first Monday of the month.
Location: Forbes 1
Time: 7 pm to 9:30 pm
Facilitator Bill Blake
Co-facilitator Dave Watson
Farewell to Catherine
We at UU Santa Monica are about to embark on a journey with Catherine Farmer Loya. One that we had hoped would never come. As many of you know, Catherine is moving to continue to pursue her career as director of religious education at the Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist church in Knoxville, TN.
Many of you have become familiar with Catherine’s commitment to educational versatility, talented storytelling, grace and charm. All of the qualities we have come to appreciate and cherish. Catherine is a treasure, and she has been welcomed into another UU community.
This does not really mean we are losing her, only that we are sharing her on a long term basis with another congregation. The gifts of creative activities for children and adults remain. The compassion and commitment to the development of our religious education can be seen in the eyes, actions and words of our children, youth and adults.
Catherine has tirelessly created celebratory and weekly Sunday events that not only amazed us, but reminded us of the beauty and wonder that we each hold within. She has taught our children that we can chose to share our gifts with those around us. We have learned from her stories that even the simplest acts can render the greatest surprises. Who wouldn’t want an RE leader like that?
With the guidance of Reverend Rebecca, Catherine has taught our youth how to craft a Sunday service for the Coming of Age and Bridging ceremonies. She has helped to foster inventiveness and responsibility in our youth by supporting the volunteers who work on the front lines. I know that when I was at my wit’s end, and had tied the last knot in my withering rope, she bolstered my strength and confidence that all would work out — despite the near fiascos that seemed to be before me. Her commitment has been that, “We should always hold a space for the visiting child or youth, in hopes that they will gladly return.”
Catherine has shared her humor, insight and patience with all of us at one time or another. Please, take a moment and share your memories with her and with other members of our UU family.
I began this labor of love stating we are embarking on a journey with Catherine. I was not waxing poetic, rather I was reminding myself, and perhaps you, that we are once again in the midst of change and discovery. What activities, stories and volunteer commitments will we participate in to honor what we have learned from Catherine? What “simple act” will remind us of the remarkable job she has done here?
I invite you to join me with enthusiasm and gratitude in wishing all the best for Catherine, Eric and Evan as they move to Tennessee, so they will know we hold a special place for them in our hearts and church.
— Jo An Peters
Music News:
T
he Standard Was Raised
It was standing room only in the Sanctuary Saturday night, June 11, for “Raising the Standard,” our choir’s annual summer concert. This Dining for Dollars event (with tickets also sold at the door) was devoted this year to choir and solo interpretations of jazz standards. Afterwards, champagne and sentiment flowed in Forbes Hall as we said farewell to Director of Music DeReau Farrar, who is heading north for a fulltime job as acting director of music at the First Unitarian Church of Portland Oregon.
— Rick Rhoads
Our choir celebrated a year of spectacular music making and paid special tribute to honor director DeReau K. Farrar at the annual party June 16th. Rima Snyder, Cindy Kelly and Diane Fletcher-Hoppe masterfully customized the lyrics to the popular swing tune “Come Rain or Come Shine.” Beaming a smile we’ve all come to adore, DeReau was moved as the choir family sang of all nighter parties, all kinds of weather, “we’ll love you always” and “you’re in our hearts rain or shine.”
— Teri Bond
Please join us for the return of SummerSings!
Led by Church Accompanist Danny Gledhill, these informal community hymn sings take place on Thursday
nights in summertime and take us through the pages of our UU hymnals to enjoy familiar favorites or find new gems. All voices welcome. 4 Thursdays, July 21 through August 9, 7 p.m. to 8:30 pm in the Sanctuary. Contact Rima Snyder/ Music Committee.