Newsletter for August, 2019
Featured Articles:
What Our Community Thinks About Right Relations
REPORT ON SURVEY BY RIGHT RELATIONS TEAM AND SUPPORT
By Audrey Lyness and Vilma Ortiz
In April, the Right Relations Team and Support convened to consult on a survey, developed by Vilma Ortiz, to assess the congregation’s response to right relations processes over the past few years. In May and June, the survey was publicized by word of mouth, flyers, email announcements, and in the order of service, and administered via a Google document and paper survey. People who were unfamiliar with or had stated negative opinions of right relations were encouraged to offer feedback. The approximately 70 individuals who chose to respond to the survey tended to be more familiar with the right relations endeavors, more likely to attend services, more involved in church activities and more likely to have held leadership roles. Accordingly, the survey results are not representative of the attitudes of all church members. Copies of the survey results (with graphs!) are available at the Right Relations Table.
The respondents are divided roughly evenly between those who have been members for fewer than six years, between six and 15 years, between 16 and 25 years, and more than 25 years. Similarly, the group is evenly divided between participating in a (non-Sunday service) church activity fewer than or once per month, two to three times per month, and once a week or more. Almost 50% of the respondents attend services every Sunday, almost 50% are involved in two to three committees, and more than 50% have chaired committees. The majority of respondents are between the ages of 60 and 80. Most of the respondents do not currently have young children, most are racially white, 2/3 of them have post-graduate degrees, 2/3 are homeowners and 60% are women.
Most survey participants responded positively about the right relations effort. 46% said they were positive, 25% were very positive and only 3% were negative. Similarly, church members felt that the right relations efforts were useful: 36% moderately useful, 43% very useful and 21% minimally useful.
When asked about their familiarity with right relations efforts, more than 70% of the respondents were familiar or very familiar; 16% attended no events, 35% attended one or two events, 29% attended three to five events, and 20% attended more. Of the respondents, 27% believe right relations efforts should cease and 72% recommend that the efforts continue – with one quarter of this group suggesting decreasing, one quarter increasing, and half urging maintaining the same activity level.
Respondents were asked to check off all listed feelings that apply; 30 responses included uncomfortable, bored, uninformed or “other,” 17 were enthusiastic, 20 were curious, 33 were supportive, and 39 were hopeful. Interest in participation in right relations activities was roughly evenly split between not, somewhat, interested and very, with the largest number somewhat interested and the fewest very interested.
A few respondents reported negative experiences: in early listening circles they felt precluded from expressing painful feelings, which exacerbated their sadness and/or anger; they believe right relations process has covered up rather than revealed or addressed real divisions; they believe that the process has gone on too long; that members and leadership are not living out the covenant, or that they use the covenant to police others.
Many respondents appreciated: sharing feelings honestly in the supportive space of listening circles; improved communication and reduced tension among congregants; the modeling of covenantal behaviors; support in working through interpersonal conflict; the hard work, support and caring shown by volunteers; increased respect, trust and relatedness within community; and our Covenant.
Respondents had concerns that: the process is not sufficiently far-reaching to impact those feeling judgment and distrust; there are conflicts of interest among leaders; the process did not start soon enough to address conflicts with the minister; the process is not tailored to individual needs; it has not proven transformative; we should focus on the future not the past; people need to be more friendly and forgiving; the quality of the work was disappointing, too limited in scope and fragmented; members who avoid the events are the ones who would most benefit from them; we should be challenging ourselves with more complex topics; and the church still has a way to go in respecting diverse opinions.
Respondents found the following to be helpful: skills building workshops; voicing and respecting opposing opinions in the protective space of listening circles; process observation at Board Meetings; developing our Covenant; sharing stories of meaning and transformation; facilitated dialogues; getting members involved with, talking to and learning about each other; and right relations as a vehicle for connection in healing and growth.
When asked what endeavors they would like to see in addition to existing circles, dialogues and workshops, respondents offered: book discussion groups, anti-racism and anti-sexism programming, pair-shares, ongoing groups for discussion of church-wide concerns, conflict resolution, competitive debate, brief inter-service discussions to share how we are living out or are having trouble living into the Covenant, video testimonials to inform the skeptical, and right relations as a regular agenda topic at Board meetings.
Regarding the Covenant, some feel it is not necessary, overly wordy and/or vague, difficult to implement, and that members lack commitment to follow its exhortations and won’t change behaviors. In contrast, many take pride in church members’ collective effort to develop it, believe that it accurately reflects who we are and should be, have found it useful in resolving conflict within and without the church, view it as an anchor from which to bring alive our values in and out of meetings, and find it a touchstone for healthier interactions.
Right Relations Team and Support are very grateful to everyone who took the time and effort to complete this survey. Thank you for your thoughtful responses!!
Dispatch from GA 2019: Faithing Family
This June, I attended the UUA General Assembly in Spokane, WA, along with six other devoted UUSM members. By far, the most interesting workshop I attended was Faithing Families, delivered by the Rev. Tandi Rogers, UUA Regional Staff. The big question that Rev. Rogers posed to the group was, “How do we emphasize and create faith in family life?”
Rogers began with the premise that parents are the primary teachers of faith. She addressed busy parents and sometimes-overscheduled kids by highlighting the ways that our faith is already present in their lives. There are a million ways to “family” in a UU way. We can talk about our seven principles when watching TV or reading or listening to podcasts. How do the values expressed intersect with what UUs believe? Pop music offers rich material for conversation. Are we hearing values we share? Is it OK for a growing brain?
When communicating our values to children in this way, we’ll see discernment in our teens and young adults down the road. A survey of any group of UUs will show that many connect to our faith through their experiences as a child or as a parent.
But parents need help in leading their children in faith formation, and conversely, their church cannot do it for them. Rogers encourages churches to shift priorities away from Sunday services and RE education to provide more resources for use in the home.
Help and resources for parents
How can we make the family home the primary incubator of Unitarian Universalism? Rogers encourages congregations to fill in the blanks:
- In a UU home you might experience…
- I claim my UU heritage by…
- My family lives our UU values when we…
- An important religious practice in our house is…..
Telling stories about why we do what we do is a rich tradition at UUSM. Why do we make sandwiches after services? What is the history of our faith? Why do we keep learning? Why do we covenant with each other at church and at home? These are all great examples of how our values guide our actions. We tell these stories and build connection.
Most important, Rogers gave concrete examples of how congregations could use their resources to extend care to busy parents and families in our community:
- Offer time in videoconferencing to do small group ministry with young parents.
- Offer a social justice story hour.
- Offer a blessing at a child’s sporting event or celebration.
- Sponsor an ad in a local newspaper or kids school newspaper.
- Show up to kids’ events wearing your UUSM or Side with Love shirt.
- Provide pizza to kid and family events in your area.
- Offer sensory-friendly worship options.
- Volunteer to offer half-hour home visits; maybe just a chalice lighting with a family to offer connection and support.
- Provide volunteers to a family or kid event.
- Offer free childcare if there is a natural disaster.
At the end of this session, Rogers summed up: “As a community, we need to support all the families, just the same, even the ones that don’t go to Sunday services.”
– Beth Brownlie
#FaithingFamily
Why Come to Camp This September?
LET ME COUNT THE WAYS...
Our congregation’s weekend at de Benneville Pines is just around the corner,
September 13 to 15 (3 pm Friday to 3 pm Sunday).
Over 80 people have signed up already. Our new Developmental Minister and our new Religious Exploration Director will be coming. How about you, too?
Why Come to Camp?
Q: Why should you make it a priority to come to camp? A: You need it.
Do you ever notice that you haven’t been really breathing lately? You know, those long deep breaths that allow you to pause, take a moment and just notice yourself, your thoughts, feelings, and the world around you.
Camp is an opportunity to take a breath. You can breathe clean air, smell the pines, sit in the sunshine, and just be.
Camp is a weekend to slow down and enjoy yourself, your family, and other UUSM folks – the kind of slowing down together that might feel difficult to do when we’re navigating the demands and obligations of the everyday world.
Camp is a chance to hang out with people of all ages, to listen, learn, and play together. Or it’s an opportunity to read a book. Sing along. Try out archery. Go on a hike or just wander. Really, there’s only a few tasks we have to pitch in together to do while we’re there.
Camp is a place to further your relationships with those in our congregation. You will leave the weekend feeling more connected to others in our community. Relationships can deepen. Children are laughing. Adults can relax.
We do camp as a community, together. The programming is all ours. Camp is a where you’re invited to linger in the woods. Where you can explore possibilities.
Being in nature is a therapy for many of us. It’s easy to forget what stars really look like at night, or the smell of pines trees, or what the sound of a creek running down a mountain does to our senses.
So why come to camp? Because camp is an opportunity for something special. We are the lucky ones. And we need it! Come.
~Amy Brunell
Your enthusiastic Planning Committee is: Amy Brunell as Dean, Chela Metzger and Karl Lisovsky as Registrars, along with Linda van Ligten, Judith Martin-Straw, Sunni Pavlovic, Joyce Holmen, and Liza Cranis.
Splinters from the Board:
Board Highlights for August 2019: Beginning the Year with Several Initiatives
SAFETY, STEWARDSHIP, CALENDARING, AND MORE
ChaliceAt their first meeting of the new church year, members of the UUSM Board of Directors read statements from their new Board Covenant—developed during a June orientation. Because some members of the board are new, a quick orientation served to acclimatize them ahead of their upcoming retreat.
This past year, there were several calendaring snafus that could have been be avoided by improved church-wide calendaring. To that end, a Calendaring Session has been set for 12:30 pm, September 22, after second service. Nina Emerson will be inviting heads of committees to attend.
The new Finance Committee Charter was approved. It will be available on the UUSM.org website under “About Our Church.”
With the moving of Kit Shaw to Boston and the resignation of Gretchen Goetz from the Stewardship Committee, the committee is in serious need of new leadership. This call will be published in the Thursday Announcements. If you are interested in helping with this critical committee, please contact Jacki Weber, the board liaison to Stewardship.
Several members of our congregation attended a February workshop on Institutionalizing a Ministry of Generosity (IMG), focused on how organizations inspire generosity in their members—a willingness to donate their time, leadership, a welcoming spirit, money, etc. One way is to have well-defined volunteer roles. More specifics will be forthcoming as the board hears more from Developmental Minister the Rev. Jeremiah Kalendae.
The board had a short discussion on the need for the church to use apps for communication and donations. A first question regarding apps is “What is the goal?” Nina Emerson is an IT person by day, and has expressed a willingness to help with development. This is another issue for Rev. Jeremiah.
Before his departure, the Rev. Greg Ward submitted an 80-page draft Congregational Safety Policy from the Safety Committee. The board voted to establish a Congregational Safety Implementation Task Force and approved a charter for the group. One early step includes gathering information on training the appropriate volunteers. Dan Patterson has agreed to attend a meeting at Neighborhood UU that will include volunteer training. Eileen McCormack agreed to be board liaison for this task force and to write an article for the newsletter seeking applications for the three-person group.
Beth Brownlie will be the board liaison to the Lifetime Religious Exploration Committee. That committee will be meeting with DRE Cleo Anderson, to begin implementing directions developed at the LRE workshop June 2.
Norm Richey has been working with the Membership Committee. He enthusiastically presented information about a program developed by UU Dallas, called Faith Forward. It comprises several 1-hour “classes” over many weeks, designed to deepen our understanding of our faith and our connection to the church. The board voted to purchase the first 22 weeks ($750), using membership support funds. The goal of the program is to shorten the timeline as people transition from visitor to member to leader.
-- Rebecca Crawford
RE News:
Personal and Spiritual Exploration for Adults, August 2019
Learning and exploration are about the transformation of the individual, our community, and the larger society. Participation helps us grow in wisdom, compassion, and ethical living. See our upcoming activities, programs, and workshops for adults.
To contact the facilitator in regards to any offering, you may email AdultRE@UUSM.org with the title of the group in the subject line. Your email will be forwarded.
Community Building Through Personal Development:
Collage Group with Stan Bemis Saturday, August 10
Do you wish to express yourself creatively in art, and yet may feel inadequate or untrained? Do you yearn to make an artistic statement, yet not sure how? Do you have too many catalogs, magazines, and advertisements, and haven’t a clue what to do with them? We welcome you to create your own collages with Stan Bemis! Stan works to bring joy and peace into people’s lives through creating art. He has taught many who didn’t realize they had creative talent, from all across the world – from California to Palestine/Israel. He welcomes any age, from youths to older adults. The goal of this group is to help foster personal worth and empowerment, entering that holy place within and having sacred fun. The objectives are: 1. to create works of art; and 2. to possibly create cards for events or celebrations. We encourage you to bring your old magazines to work with as well. We will meet from 10:00-12:00 pm in the NE Cottage. Contacts: Stan Bemis or Sarah Robson.
Conversations and Connections
NO MEETING FOR AUGUST. The next meeting is scheduled for September 21. Information about the September meeting will be available prior to that date.
NO MEETING FOR AUGUST. The next meeting is scheduled for September 21. Information about the September meeting will be available prior to that date.
Our guiding intention is to provide structure and opportunities for meaningful connections between individuals in our congregation. We will break into groups of 2, offering an opportunity for one-to-one conversations with 3 different people during our time together. It isn’t necessary to have attended previous Conversations and Connections gatherings. All are invited. Contacts: Sue Stoyanoff or Bettye Barclay.
Gentle Yoga Mondays August 5, 12, 19, 26
We will explore traditional yoga poses in a safe, compassionate, non-competitive environment that is welcoming to all who are able to get up and down from a yoga mat. We will be working on traditional yoga poses with a focus on creating a safe, effective, compassionate, non-competitive environment that is welcoming to all. We will work on strength, flexibility, restorative poses and deep relaxation. Some equipment is required, including a yoga mat, 2 blankets, and a strap, and several other suggestions – see the calendar page linked above. Mary Lee Olsen has a 500 hour certificate as a yoga teacher. She will be offering this weekly yoga class beginning Monday, August 5 and continuing through Monday, September 9, from 6:00-7:00 pm in Forbes Hall, except for Labor Day. Preregistration is necessary. For more information or to register, drop by the Adult RE table on Sunday or email Mary Lee through AdultRE@UUSM.org.
Exploration of Ideas:
“The Hate U Give” Book Discussion, August 14
Please join us to discuss Angie Thomas’ award-winning debut novel The Hate U Give, which depicts the efforts of 16-year old Starr Carter to cope with personal and societal upheaval in the aftermath of the police shooting of a friend. Issues of identity, including race, class and age, and the values of community, loyalty and integrity, are all implicated in this 2019 selection for Santa Monica Public Library’s Santa Monica Reads. While this offering is directed to adult participants, it is equally appropriate for mature teenagers, who are very welcome. Learning objectives include: Enjoy reading a good book, have fun together in a relaxed, inter-generational setting, voice our own perspectives and actively listen to differing opinions, grow community, appreciate the American experience through the lens of a Black teenaged girl, enhance our awareness of systemic oppression, and consider our obligations as UU’s in the struggle for justice. The class, facilitated by Melinda Ewen and Audrey Lyness, will meet in Forbes Hall on Wednesday, August 14, from 7:00-9:00 pm. Books are available for sale at the R.E. Table in Forbes Hall, and please sign up there to attend. For more information, please contact us at adultre@uusm.org, including the book title in the subject line.
AAHS Freethinker Forum Sunday, August 25
AAHS (Atheists, Agnostics, Humanists, and Secularists) is an open group that meets for lively and engaging discussion on topics of politics, science, religion, and philosophy. We also host occasional guest speakers, films, and outings. We are a home base for non-believers and questioners, but everyone is welcome. For many, atheism/agnosticism is a first step; Humanism is the thousand steps that come after. We’ll meet 12:00-1:00 pm in the Warren Matthews Conference Room Contact: James Witker.
Science Non-Fiction Book Discussion Tuesday, August 20
Science Non-Fiction Book Group: We will discuss Half-Earth: Our Planet’s Fight for Life, by E. O. Wilson. In order to save biodiversity and the human species, Wilson proposes setting aside half the Earth. Is that doable? A preeminent biologist and naturalist, Wilson makes the case for trying. All are welcome. We will meet from 7:30–9:00 pm in Forbes. Contact: Rebecca Crawford.
Interest Groups:
Discussion and Support for Persons with Disabilities Sunday, August 25
The Disability Support Group will be promoting a dialogue on a selected topic at each of its meetings throughout this church year. All church members interested in the topic are invited to attend. For August, the topic of discussion is “Money Management and Budgeting.” We meet on the fourth Sunday of each month from 11:30–1:00 pm in the NE Cottage. Contact: Michael Young.
UU Men’s Group Thursdays, August 1, August 15
The Men’s Group offers a special opportunity to the men of the congregation and other like minded men to join our welcoming group in provocative and stimulating discussion and to get to know others with UU perspectives in a more meaningful way. We meet the first and third Thursdays of the month. The topic for August 1 is: We are told that accumulating material things is not the route to happiness. Do you agree? Should happiness be the goal in life? The topic for August 15 is: “Atoms are not… things,” Werner Heisenberg. Is that true, and if so, what is everything else, including us, based upon that fundamental basis of all chemical structure? 7:30 PM in the NE room of the Cottage. Contact: Richard Mathias.
Meditations:
An Enjoyable Dive into Who and What We Are Mondays, August 5, August 19
This ongoing class helps participants master specific meditation skills. We endeavor to answer the questions Who am I? (attitudes and beliefs) and What am I? (essence or true nature). This class will include meditations that explore participants’ spiritual goals. The monthly group meetings also focus on insights gained throughout the month. It is expected that participants will develop and enjoy a regular meditation practice. This group meets on the first and third Mondays from 7:30-9:00 pm in Forbes Classroom 3. Contact: Bill Blake.
Open Meditation Mondays, August 12, August 26
We gather twice a month to sit together quietly for 20 minutes, to walk with gentle awareness for seven minutes, and to explore the integration of meditation with ordinary life through reading and sharing. Anyone who senses they would benefit from 20 minutes of silent, non-guided sitting is welcome to join us. We have found that this time of quiet meditation and shared exploration can be deeply nourishing – a time of simply “being” amidst all the “doing” of our lives. We meet on the second, fourth, and fifth Mondays from 7:30-9:15 pm in Forbes. Contacts: Bev Shoenberger or Carol Ring.
Highlights of additional interest groups meeting in August:
Knitters and Friends On hiatus until September 22, 2019, when we return to two services. Contact: Linda Van Ligten.
Body-Mind Tune Up for Seniors This group is for seniors, superseniors, and people with physical difficulties. Now on a new day of the week! Each Saturday from 11:00 am to 12:00 pm in Forbes Hall. Contact: Bruno Lacombe. Note: Free for church members, $10 suggested donation for nonmembers.
The Intersections of Social and Personal Identities in “The Hate U Give”
BOOK DISCUSSION GROUP WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 14, 7-9 PM, FORBES HALL
Please join us to discuss Angie Thomas’ award-winning debut novel, The Hate U Give, which depicts the efforts of 16-year old Starr Carter to cope with personal and societal upheaval in the aftermath of the police shooting of a friend. Issues of identity, including race, class and age, and the values of community, loyalty and integrity, are all implicated in this 2019 selection for Santa Monica Public Library’s Santa Monica Reads.
While this offering is directed to adult participants, it is equally appropriate for mature teenagers, who are very welcome. Learning objectives include: Enjoy reading a good book, have fun together in a relaxed, inter-generational setting, voice our own perspectives and actively listen to differing opinions, grow community, appreciate the American experience through the lens of a Black teenage girl, enhance our awareness of systemic oppression, and consider our obligations as UUs in the struggle for justice.
The class, facilitated by Melinda Ewen and Audrey Lyness, will meet in Forbes Hall on Wednesday, August 14, from 7-9pm. Books are available for sale for $11.00 at the R.E. Table in Forbes Hall, and please sign up there to attend.
For more information, please contact adultre@uusm.org, including the book title in the subject line.
-- Sheila Cummins Personal and Spiritual Exploration for Adults