"Garbo Speaks*"

On July 9 our retiring minister, the Rev.Judith Meyer, was interviewed for 75 minuteson videotape by Rob Briner, under theprofessional direction of documentary filmmakersPamela Briggs and William McDonald. Anedited DVD of the interview - possibly accompaniedby a videotaped interview with the Rev. ErniePipes completed in July 2006 - will hopefully beavailable in 2009. Here are some transcribedexcerpts:

[Rob Briner] In 1993, where were you living andworking and what prompted you to seek a settledministry with a congregation?

[Judith Meyer] In 1993 I was still working as thevice president for programs of the Unitarian Universalist Association. I had been there [Boston]for six years. Prior to that I had been a settled ministerin a congregation in Concord, New Hampshire,and prior to that I was an assistant minister to a congregationin New Jersey. So I had equal amounts ofexperience in management in the nonprofit setting,as I guess I would describe the UUA job, and parishministry. And I was part of the administration thatwas coming to an end in 1993 [William Schulz, president1985-1993]. We all had ample notice to plan ourlives accordingly because generally a new administrationcomes in and hires new executive staff. Thatwas the expectation, anyway. And so I had a coupleof years, really all of those years, to think about,"When I'm done doing this, what will I do next?"

In 1991 I had a short sabbatical leave time that Ichose to take trying out parish ministry again, and Ibecame what was then known as a minister-on-loan,to a congregation in southern California, at what wasthen the Palm Springs Fellowship. I spent twomonths in Palm Springs working with this congregationthat didn't have a minister, and discovering twothings: that yes, indeed, I wanted to go back intoparish ministry and that I loved Southern California.So two years later when the time came to startsearching for a congregation I decided that I wantedto make a big move out of New England and wasconsidering a number of different locations, not justSouthern California, but the Santa Monica churchhappened to be located here, so that was of specialinterest to me.

I just knew that I wanted to take a leave from NewEngland. I had spent so much time there and I wasat that stage in my life where I could have stayedthere forever. People kind of do that; they institutionalizethemselves. In Unitarian Universalist settings,between the UUA and the churches and Harvard,there's always something you can do. And youcan stay there forever and work and have all thesame friends you've had since you were 21 and neverreally leave. And I just decided that before I settled into do that, I should see more of the Unitarian Universalistworld out there. So that's what drove thedecision. I thought, "If I really don't like living in CaliforniaI can always go back to Boston in a couple ofyears." I never seriously considered [doing] that onceI moved here, but that was how I allowed myself tomake the break and make the move.

How have you described life in California tofriends and family in other parts of the country?

[Laughter] You know that building on Main Streetthat has the transvestite doll sculpture on it [thehobo ballerina]? I went to look at a condo in thatbuilding at one point and I remember having thisthought that if I sent a picture back east of my new home in California they would probably send thedeprogrammers out to get me because people wouldbe so shocked.

In 1993, when you were invited to visit by the searchcommittee, what did you think about the possibility ofbecoming the new settled minister at UUCCSM after along-tenured ministry? Was it intimidating or daunt -ing, or did it just seem like a great opportunity?

I'd had the experience of working in another congregationwhere there had been a long-tenured ministerwho was then the minister emeritus while I wasthe settled minister, in Concord, New Hampshire.And it was such a positive experience for me, to havehim be part of the church and have him to talk to andhis library and his thoughts and his friendship, that Ibrought with me a positive anticipation of what itwould be like to be in a congregation with a longtenuredminister a part of my world. [He had servedthe Concord congregation] not as long as Ernie, buthe had been there probably for 20 years or more.

Ernie's experience of serving a church for 35 yearsis absolutely unique in Unitarian Universalist contemporaryministry. Nobody else has done that, sothat was a unique aspect of the situation and I knewthat I would have to understand and appreciate that.But here's how I assessed it at the time: I wanted to bein a church that had a healthy relationship with theirminister and I could see that that was true here. Ernieis loved and respected as he should be, and he'sserved the church with a tremendous amount ofintegrity and grace and intelligence, and I thought itcould only be good to follow such a good ministry. It'sgood to follow a good ministry. It's hard to follow aproblematic ministry. So even though Ernie's life herewas very extended, what I remember saying to thechurch at the time was that I saw Ernie's presence asone of the strengths of the congregation - to bedrawn on and appreciated and honored for the timehe spent here. And I've never had a reason to changemy feelings about that.

What were your first impressions of the congregation and Los Angeles?

I think this probably has to do with the entertainmentindustry influence. It's the most extrovertedcongregation I've served, in the sense that peoplewere always popping up out of their seats to saysomething or do something or perform in some way.People are very talented. There's a lot of creativeenergy, and then again there's also the influence ofthe aerospace industry and the engineering mentality,which is very different but also has made a distinctimprint on the congregation.

There's a lot of intelligence here because of the localemployment.

That's true, but that's true of UU congregationseverywhere. But they tend to be more academic in other places. This one struck me as being more freewheeling.There are more people who are new toCalifornia, new to Los Angeles, new to UnitarianUniversalism. There isn't that sense of three, four,five generations weighing in on the congregation theway there is in New England.

In the past 15 years there have been approximately600 members of our congregation. Have these peoplemade a difference in your ministry?

That's a very difficult question to answer. Theanswer is yes, of course, and some people havemade a tremendous difference in the way I've seenthe world or given me an opportunity to minister tothem in a moment that was a tremendous privilege.But I give a great deal of thought to how I talk aboutpeople. When I write about people in a sermon Icarefully vet that story from a lot of different anglesso as not to exploit a relationship or knowledge of aperson, or betray a confidence. This question comesup in a way that I'm not sure I know how to answerfor that reason. Has my life been changed by mycontact with all those people coming through thedoors? Absolutely. Absolutely.

What's your fondest memory of something thathappened at UUCCSM in the past 15 years?

Thatmight be an unfair question because there have beenmany happy memories.[After a long pause] In my mind I was trying tocreate some categories to talk about that would be ofinterest. Being a minister I'm part of so many highpoints in people's lives. High points are my daily life.Someone's wedding, the once-in-a-lifetime fulfillmentof finding a life partner, or great celebrationsand welcoming children. There've been so many ofthose and their meaning hasn't diminished for me,but when they're lumped together it's more the factthat I've been able to do that than there is any singleone.

But something that might be of interest to peopleis that one of the things I like to do best is conductmemorial services, and that probably memorials arethe most memorable rite of passage. And that I'vefound [memorials] to be probably the most satisfyingpeak experiences that I've had as a minister mayseem strange, but I think a lot of ministers feel thatway. I don't think I'm alone.

It helps people move on and survive when there's awonderful memorial service. Because it's a point ofdeparture on to the next phase; you feel better afterattending a good memorial service.

Yes, I think it is that, and that also from myexperience being able to look at an hour of time andthink about how do you say something about someone'slife? How do you express it? What do you do,what music, what words, what poetry, what eulogydo you write - these choices make it an incredible experience. I probably remember memorial servicesI've conducted much better than any wedding, forexample, for that reason.

Do you think people are busier than they were 15years ago and 10 years ago?

Yes, it seems to be getting worse. People arefiendishly busy. And it does have an impact on whatpeople can bring to and take from the experience ofbeing part of a congregation. More and more I thinkthat people are able to set aside Sunday morning -an hour on Sunday morning - for their life as a partof the congregation, but are much less available to bepart of the church at other times of the week. And thechurch has become more and more reliant on paidstaff and on getting things done in other waysbecause the pool of volunteers is not the way it usedto be.

Would you and your husband, David, like to staypermanently in Santa Monica, or have you talkedabout someday maybe moving elsewhere?

We talk about what it would be like to live in otherplaces but we haven't found a place we like betterthan Santa Monica. I think that's what happens toeverybody. It certainly happens to all the ministerswho come here, doesn't it? We both love Honolulu,and have conversations about what it would be like tolive there. And we always travel and ask wherever wego, "Would we like to retire here?" but we alwayscome back to Santa Monica and say, "It's best here."

A couple of months ago you recommended a book tome about a minister who left her ministry and she andher husband bought a farm. Can you imagine a rurallifestyle in the future or are you an urban person?

[Laughter] There's no way that David Denton isever going to do any yard work anywhere.

You've been involved in the planning for newchurch facilities and a Capital Campaign going backalmost a decade. What story do you have to tell aboutwhat church members want, will pay - delays,serendipity, and the fact that you're retiring before thebuilding plan will be completed?

That's a really important question that I've given alot of thought to - my ministry and its relationshipto the building program over more than a decade.Because I can remember, in 1995 and '96 when themembership was growing, an interest in reviving -and after the [January 1994] earthquake whichopened up the space there [on the 17th Street lot], wesaw there was an opportunity to do something. Webegan talking about what it would mean to havesome kind of capital campaign towards a buildingprogram in 1996, I remember, talking about that withsome of the church leaders. There was a lot of timetaken ramping up to understanding what the building program would be, what it would mean to have acapital campaign and so on. So that by 1998 and1999 when we were really getting started with visioningand all the rest of it, we already had several yearsof anticipation.

I thought it would take five years, and I was onthat timetable for a while. Thinking that it would beone of the things I would do while I was here. Thechurch really needed this work to be done. I washappy to take it on in terms of being the minister ata church during a building program - focusing myenergies accordingly. And then it started taking a lotlonger than five years. There was the serendipity ofthe opportunity to buy the property next door. Thefact that there were significant improvements thatcould be made on each successive plan, even thougheach successive plan represented a tremendousinvestment of leadership time, money, hope, andvision each time we set about to invest in a new one.

At some point I realized that I needed to detachmy understanding of my ministry from the progressof the building program. That that was going to be akind of discipline I was going to have to apply tomyself or I would go crazy waiting for it to be over.And I also could see, as my life circumstanceschanged and we were working on a decade of thisbuilding program, that I was not going to get to thePromised Land with everybody else and I had toaccept that.

The fact remains that the congregation hasworked really hard through what has turned out tobe a tremendous challenge, and I think we just didn'trealize - couldn't have realized - how hard itwould be to make this happen. So it's throughnobody's fault whatsoever that it's taken this long. Ithink there's a lot that will still get done that's part ofthis initial momentum.

So you're at peace with the fact that it's not going tobe finished before you retire?

Yes. And I think actually it's been good to gothrough that effort inside myself because I don'tthink it's healthy for a minister to be attached to anythinglike that. To have one's self-esteem caught upwith whether the building program finishes or not.That's not what ministry is; it's about walking withthe people while they're doing that.

Has your religious philosophy evolved or changedover the past 15 years?

Yes. And I think everybody's does. I think I'vemade a complete circle in my theological outlook,starting when I was in Divinity School when I waspretty much an existentialist and atheist. Then I gotsoftened up by being exposed to people who were alot more expressive about their religious faith and Ibegan to form an idea of mild theism that I couldsubscribe to and carried that with me through manyyears - my ministry. I arrived with that here in SantaMonica. I guess you could call it my old theistic pointof view. And I find that now I've pretty much abandonedthat.

I guess I would describe myself now more as a religioushumanist in that I still believe in the value ofreligious inquiry and community but I'm certainlymore humanistic in my outlook and more existentialist.And I have changed the most in that I think thattheology matters less and less all the time.

I remember maybe four years ago, in an aside yousaid, "I was out in the courtyard and someone came tome and asked me to pray for someone, in terms ofhelping them recover from an illness or injury."Andyou said that even though you don't think that's whatGod does - God doesn't exist to grant wishes inresponse to prayers - and I thought that's an interest -ing thing for a minister to say. But that's part of ageneral theology we all figure out one way or another.If there is a force in the universe, does that apply to usindividually? And if it does, is it a Santa Claus-typeforce? Or is it something beyond getting things orsurviving a disease or injury? For you it was just anaside but it was important to get an insight into yourpersonal beliefs.

I remember that too, and I think it's so interestingabout prayer. As a minister when somebody asks meto pray for them I always say yes. I think it would be atremendously harmful thing to refuse to pray forsomebody and to not honor whatever need or desperationout of which that request came. So I say yes,but then I have to think about what did I mean bysaying yes? Now what am I going to have to do? So Iremind myself that I do not believe in a god who iswaiting to listen to my requests, but at the same timewe've all probably been in that situation where we'vedone that for ourselves. That's a very humanresponse. And I certainly have. So I think it's one ofthose paradoxical situations we all encounter and I'veencountered a great deal in ministry - I don't reallybelieve in this but I can also see how sometimes wedo anyway. This happens all the time.

Have you ever thought about the road, or roads, youdidn't take in your life?

I honestly don't think there's anything else I couldhave done in my life. The thing I always think about ishow lucky I was to figure out that this is what I coulddo. I don't see myself as having been suited to anythingelse in my time. Times have changed now, butin my time it was absolutely the thing to do and I'venever really thought about what else I could havedone or might have done.

What are you planning to do in retirement,including your vocation and avocations?

A lot of ideas occur to me of things that I mightlike to do, but I think the emphasis is more on beingthan doing - if I can manage that. Some of thethings that have come to mind are writing, ofcourse. The other thing I feel pulled to is to provide,as a volunteer, ministry and service to the homelesspopulation in Santa Monica. The work that I'vedone as a volunteer with OPCC [formerly the OceanPark Community Center], for example, has givenme a real sense of what it's like to minister to thatgroup of people.

I hope to learn to cook, and entertain, and enjoyfriendships and time with people in a way that Ihave not been able to as much because so much ofmy people time is taken up with being a minister;and travel, which there could be a lot of in thefuture. (I've got cookbooks, I just don't look atthem.)

Is there anything else you would like to share?

Maybe I've summed this up in different ways insermons over the last few weeks, but I would wantto say for the record that ministry is a very difficultand challenging profession, in which one has toconfront one's own inadequacies all the time. Andyet for me it has been a tremendously satisfyingway to spend my time.

I have never stopped feeling really fortunate thatI found my way into ministry and how much of thathas been a product of my whole life. And the strongfeeling I have that for all of us it doesn't matter whatyou've gone through or where you've been, none ofthat experience is wasted in the final reckoning.And for me in terms of ministry, that is true. Everything,starting with who I was as a child and whomy parents were and how they chose to raise meand the people with whom I had contact as a child;the intellectual interests I had; where I went to college;who my friends were. Everything has alwaysbeen pouring into the work that I do and nothing islost. I love that.

And I love the way I've been able to be a part ofpeople's lives. I feel very grateful for my career as aminister and for the privilege that congregationshave given me to serve. And I hope our congregationknows that. I think they do.

-- Judith Meyer

*Taken from the advertisingcampaign of the 1930 movie"Anna Christie," in which GretaGarbo's voice was heard for thefirst time on film.

 

Settled Minister Search Committee:
NomCom asks . . .Did "20 hours a month" scare you away?

We thought so, so we checked and have been reassured by our UUA liaison that the Settled Minister SearchCommittee (SMSC) will not regularly require such a time commitment. However, there will be a few months when thecommittee is polling the congregation and evaluating applicants that will require considerable time and possible travelto local/area congregations (expenses will be reimbursed).

The SMSC job description in our bylaws says, "The function of the Minister Search Committee is to search for andevaluate candidates for the position of Minister, working with UUA Headquarters and taking account of any guidelineswhich may be specified by the Congregation, and as a result of that search to recommend a candidate for Congregationapproval."

NomCom's plan is to present a list of candidates for the nine-member Search Commitee to the Board at its regularmeeting on December 9, who will then schedule a congregational meeting in January to vote on the membership ofthe Search Committee. More information on the process will be available in the next few months.

If you think you might be interested in undertaking this exciting responsibility to shape the future of UUSM, pleasecontact the Nominating Committee by e-mail at NomCom@uusm.org or call the church office at (310) 829-5436. Leavea message with your name, e-mail address and/or phone and we will be in touch.

For more information we suggest visiting the UUA website:http://www.uua.org/leaders/leaderslibrary/transitions/20679.shtml

-Your Nominating Committee:Rob Briner, Liza Cranis, Cathie Gentile,Dayla McDonald, Karen Patch, Pam Teplitz

 

Some characteristics of a good search committee member:

1. Someone who is known and respected byothers in the congregation and who clearlyhas their confidence.

2. Someone more strongly committed to thecongregation as a whole than to any subgroup.

3. Someone who is committed to Unitarian Universalistpluralism in every way - theology,life styles, social concern, etc.

4. Someone who is patiently able to work forconsensus rather than insisting on majorityrule or minority tyranny.

5. Someone with the time to be thoroughly andcontinually involved. Often other majorchurch jobs are suspended to give full attentionto this important process. People whose employmentrequires them to be away often shouldprobably not apply or be nominated for thecommittee. Regular access to e-mail is highlyrecommended.

6. Someone who constantly can rememberthe wishes of the congregation and will avoidletting the search committee become anautonomous, independent (and finally irresponsible)entity.

7. Someone with a history of Unitarian Universalistinvolvement. This is not a job for someonebrand new to either the church or the UUmovement.

8. Someone who can respect the confidentialityof the process yet is committed to informingthe congregation as the process moves ahead.

9. Someone not prone to extreme reactions toministers.

10. A little bit of social charm comes in handy,too!

11. Remember: Prospective ministers will beevaluating the congregation by interactingwith the members of the Search Committee.

 

Report on GA

The UUA General Assembly (GA) in Ft. Lauderdaleattracted only 3000 people, and that included a largenumber of Floridians who were attending for the firsttime. That is a dramatic contrast to the 5800 whoattended last year in Portland, OR. The humidity inFlorida in June, the Homeland Security requirementthat ID be checked to enter the convention center, andthe high cost of air fare all combined to make this asmall GA. Amelia Harati and I were the only ones fromour church - unlike the large contingent we had lastyear in beautiful Portland.

Despite - or maybe because of - the sparse attendance,it was a delightful GA. Many people commentedon how much more relaxed it seemed thanusual. No lines in the rest rooms and short ones formeals helped.

The new Congregational Study Action Issue for thenext four years is "Ethical Eating: Food and EnvironmentalJustice."

Six Actions of Immediate Witness were ratified. Theyare: "End Present-day Slavery in the Fields," "Extendthe Tax Credit for Wind and Solar Power," "Oppose aU.S. Attack on Iran," "Oppose the Florida and California