Judith Meyer's Pipes lecture, "Falling Out: alienation and Community in Divisive Times"

This year’s Ernest D. Pipes, Jr. Distinguished Lecture was delivered by Judith Meyer. Ernie Pipes was in the audience. Ernie was in our pulpit for 35 years and Judith for 15; added together, their tenures cover more than half the time the church has existed. Hearing Judith’s voice in our sanctuary again brought back fond memories for many of us. Her talk on adjusting to living in the red state of Tennessee was authentic, thoughtful, and engaging, and she used her ironic charm to make us laugh.

Judith described taking daily walks through Market Square with her beloved dog Aki and connecting with many different people. Aki elicited comments from the more-than-friendly people of Appalachia, including an immigrant Falafel House restaurant owner, homeless people, a bus driver who want to know how old the dog people who just asked about Aki.

Judith reflected on how democracy on our national stage is being threatened – the ignoring of the science of climate change, the shunning of critical thinking, and the dismissal of civility – and how this trend is disturbing. She asked, “How can we survive this?”

Right Relations Task Force Report
Living into Our Covenant of Right Relations: Love

 

We are still refining our UUSM Covenant of Right Relations, and the first draft has been presented. You provided thoughtful responses through participating in Dialogue Circles, discussing with us in person, and submitting online comments. We will use this feedback to enhance our covenant and then send it to the Board for approval; ultimately, the congregation will vote on adopting the covenant.

 

We will rightly celebrate the adoption of our written UUSM Covenant of Right Relations and our collective work in developing it. What happens next? How do we deepen our understanding of the covenant? How do we transform

words on paper into actions and behaviors?

 

In the coming months, your Right Relations Task Force will be working on these issues with our congregation. We will share opportunities to explore our Covenant of Right Relations and practice living into it with one another. These opportunities might include workshops on how to express compassion for ourselves and each other. They might include trainings on conflict resolution and how to talk through disagreements and disputes. Maybe they will include discussions on inclusive diversity and community wellbeing, both in theory and practice. We will all be learning and practicing together.

 

One place to start is in looking at the concept of love. What is love – what does it look like, sound like, feel like? In our congregation, we begin each Sunday service reading, “Love is the doctrine of this church.” What does this mean? Is it that the church has been built on love? Is it a directive to love everyone in our congregation,  community, or even the world? Is it an appeal to live up to certain ideals?

 

M. Scott Peck writes that “Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth... Love is as love does. Love is an act of will – namely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.” Love is both idea and action, not just something that we innately feel, but something that we can decide to do. It does not have to be earned; rather we choose to give it.

 

The first statement of affirmation in our draft Covenant of Right Relations is: “We will be kind, caring,  compassionate, and loving through words and actions.” We choose to be loving with our fellow congregants, even when it gets hard. Kind, caring, compassionate – these are all clues on how to be loving with one another. Being mindful of the words we speak to others in the moment – that they convey the love we have for one another even when we disagree. Making an effort to say kind words to someone who needs them. Taking care of one another in ways that are meaningful. Proactively supporting one another, both when such help is expected as well as when unexpected. Being compassionate with others as we work toward understanding, acceptance, and appreciation.

 

While love is an easy word to say and advocate for, it may be challenging to express. It takes commitment to choose to love, and to take actions that show that we love one another. Of course, there will be times when we do not live up to the aspirations in our covenant, including that of being loving. When this happens, we will  compassionately lift each other back to the ambition to live into our highest ideals.

 

Please continue to engage in our congregation-wide process of right relations. Watch for more information, invitations, and updates as our work of loving and living into our covenant continues in the months and years

to come.

 

— Emily Linnemeier

 

Right Relations Task Force:

Emily Linnemeier, Audrey Lyness, Linda Marten, Vilma Ortiz (co-chair), Beth Rendeiro, Sue Stoyanoff (co-chair), Cassie Winters, James Witker Right Relations Team: Vicky Foxworth, Cindy Kelly, Margot Page, Nalani Santiago-Kalmanson, Kim Santiago-Kalmanson, Rima Snyder, Joe Straw, Linda van Ligten, Patricia Wright, Steve Young,

Sylvia Young

Special Christmas Eve Offering

 

Being part of a dedicated community is one of the central assurances that we will find a hand – and a reason to hope – when the hard times come. Sometimes that reassurance comes in the form of flowers during illness, or food during a difficult stretch. Sometimes it means childcare so someone can tend to emergencies. Sometimes it is help meeting obligations after a layoff. There are hundreds of ways that communities help fellow members in need.

 

This year, because we know that none of us is invulnerable to tragedy, we are collecting a special offering during the Christmas Eve services for the Minister’s Discretionary Fund. This offering is for members in need. It’s for our fellow members and friends who find themselves without enough food or who can’t pay a bill… for those who’ve been unexpectedly laid off or who need just a little help with a prescription or receiving treatment. There are all kinds of things our members experience where the church makes a difference. There is currently no active fund or line item in our budget that allows us to offer the spirit of care to our fellow members in need.

 

A Minister’s Discretionary Fund is a way that we can give to those who are in need who are can’t bring themselves to ask. Your generous donations on the five Christmas eve services – the two morning services, the 4:00 Family Service, and the 6:00 and 8:00 Candlelight Services – will bring light and hope all year round to make sure there is room at the Inn for all of us. If you are not able to attend those services but still want to contribute towards the direct support of our members in need, please send checks into the UUCCSM office with “Ministerial Discretion” in the memo.

 

The church and all its members thank you for the difference you make.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MEET YOUR NOMINATING COMMITTEE

 

As a congregation in transition, we are learning that it takes our whole spiritual community to make things work well ― which means that the more members who find opportunities to get involved, the more successful our church will be. This year, the Nominating Committee (NomCom) is working on a couple of ideas to make the process of getting involved more accessible, and to inspire greater congregational participation.

 

Nom Com’s main function is to nominate church members to run for the Board of Directors and for NomCom. Additionally, we appoint members to the Finance, Personnel, and Investment Committees (and the occasional Ministerial Search Committee) for ratification by the Board.

 

Our committee is aware that the nominating process has seemed mysterious or secretive in the past to some members. While no big mystery or secrets prevail, explicitly detailing the process in an open forum affords us the kind of procedural visibility our Board of Directors is striving for. We are working on ways to give members avenues to express directly to the committee their interest in serving in one of the positions mentioned above. We call this selfexpressed interest. Furthermore, if you think a member might be a good addition to one of these posts, you can recommend them to NomCom for follow-up and consideration.

 

There are many details to work out, many of which are in the works as you are reading this! We will use church media to inform the congregation when one of these positions becomes open, as well as to explicitly outline job requirements and expectations in order to ensure that members understand what is needed of them ― so they can make an informed decision if offered a slot on the ballot or a position on a committee. In conjunction, we are working on revising our webpage ― making it relevant with up-todate info, FAQs, job descriptions for the nominated positions and criteria for getting nominated. We want the congregation to know who we, the NomCom, are.

 

NomCom is researching other similarly sized UU congregations for ideas about how to best help members express their interest in a position, what members need to know about the job itself, how/where to guide members into acquiring leadership skills, and other ideas to make our process run smoothly. It’s turning out to be a very informative inquiry and fun to boot, as we are discovering more things than we expected! So far, the most unexpected idea was “Showcase Sundays” at the UU Congregation of Phoenix. (It turns out our church has done this in the past.)

 

On a Showcase Sunday, every committee sets up a table and members roam the room. This allows every  committee, every member, and each friend of the church, opportunities to find each other and to ask and answer questions directly. It completely removes the mystery of how to get involved―for both longtime and new members  The NomCom is teaming up with the Membership Committee to organize a “Showcase Sunday” on January 28,  2018. Stay tuned for details.

 

Also in January, watch for the “NomNom with the NomCom” invitation by Liza and plan to join us after either  ervice for a coffee, a doughnut, and an informal drop-in chat with the committee. We encourage you to attend and get to know us, and our committee a bit better. If you have a question now you can send it to the entire committee at nomcom@uusm.org, or you are welcome to reach out to any one of us individually: Barbara Gibbs, Bob Dietz, James Witker, Linda van Ligten, Liza Cranis, and Nalani Santiago-Kalmanson.

 

— Nalani Santiago-Kalmanson, Bob Dietz, Liza Crais, and Barbara Gibbs

 2017 Thanksgiving Feast

Reverend Greg Ward Begins His UUSM Tenure

Rev. Greg Ward (he prefers to be called Greg) officially joined UUSM as our minister on September 1, 2017. Ministers come to congregations with varied specialties. Though he’s a talented Sunday speaker and seasoned pastoral presence, Greg has a particular love for helping individuals and churches become unstuck by understanding and engaging with what matters most.

As our developmental minister, he will spend the next 2+ years working with us on (1) grounding our congregation in covenantal relations; (2) reconnecting with and recommitting to a shared mission and vision; (3) revitalizing membership and leadership; (4) expanding what learning, connecting, and caring look like in our congregation; (5) becoming stronger in stewardship of the programs and resources that fuel our mission and vision; and (6) addressing structural issues in governance that may make our congregational work harder than it needs to be.

“Church is the instrument of transforming society,” he says. “Our overarching goal should be covenanted community that facilitates that transformation.”

He spent September acquainting himself with the way things work in our congregation and is meeting one-on-one and in small groups with congregational leaders. Meetings will continue throughout the fall. If you’d like to schedule a one-on-one, please make an appointment through archive.uusm.org/for-members/ ministerial-transition. In the meantime, you’ll find him in the pulpit most Sundays or you can email him at revgreg@uusm.org.

— Jacki Weber

Right Relations Task Force Report:
Congregation-Wide Workshop on Covenant of Right Relations

“A behavioral covenant is a written document…agreed to and owned by its creators, and practiced on a daily basis as a spiritual discipline. Practicing the discipline described by the behavioral covenant IS an action of faith, since practicing such helpful and healthy behaviors IS an acting out of one’s stated beliefs and values.”
— Gil Rendle, Behavioral Covenants in Congregations

“Our first principle…. the inherent worth and dignity of every person … remains a touchstone out of our remarkable tradition, a covenant of relationship that supports the other principles and orients us remarkably quickly when we lose our way.”
— Rev. Marilyn Sewell

A covenant is a promise between people, a concept which holds a central place within Unitarian Universalist communities. Every Sunday, we covenant with each other and with the wider Unitarian Universalist population. We covenant to support one another in our intellectual, spiritual, and service-oriented journeys, and to uphold the importance of love.

As UU congregants have lived in covenant with one another, we have come to realize that the way we uphold these promises with each other is equally as important as the promises themselves. For this reason, many Unitarian Universalist congregations have developed covenants of right relations as promises about how people will interact with one another in relationship, both in times of harmony and of challenge.

Our beloved congregation will be taking part in this tradition beginning this fall as your Right Relations Team facilitates the creation of a Covenant of Right Relations. The first opportunity to engage in this endeavor will be on the morning of Saturday, October 7, as our right relations consultant Nancy Edmundson leads us in a Covenantal Workshop. At this interactive event, you will get a chance to deepen your understanding of covenants, in general, and of covenants of right relations, in particular. You will also be able to voice your ideas about what should be included in our community’s covenant and to connect with other members of our church in a meaningful way.

It is important that we, members of our congregation, participate in developing this covenant so that we own it and take responsibility for living in it. We strongly encourage everyone who is able to attend the workshop and take advantage of this opportunity to share what our covenant of right relations will encompass.

The workshop will begin promptly at 9 am and last until noon. Participants are welcome to arrive at 8:30 for refreshments and fellowship, and to leave plenty of time for parking and childcare. Please let us know if you will be attending either by signing up at the Right Relations table in Forbes Hall after services or by email at rightrelations@uusm.org.

We look forward to working with you on October 7! The Right Relations Task Force welcomes new members Audrey Lyness, Linda Marten, and Cassandra Winters, and we are very happy to have them jump in. At this time, we also thank Helen Brown for her valuable service as she steps off of the task force and team.

We held an engaging Listening Circle on August 10, with 18 persons participating, and a rewarding retreat with Rev. Greg on September 9. Finally, we have been studying best practices in right relations policies from other congregations. As always, please visit us at the Right Relations table in Forbes Hall after services to find out more about the work we are doing. You might be wondering what happens after the October 7 workshop – we are glad you asked! Using the input from the morning workshop, the RRTF will construct a draft Covenant of Right Relations. This draft will also be informed by the processes we offered last year – Sharing Stories of Personal Meaning, and Sharing Stories of Conflict Transformation. We expect to share this draft Covenant in October and to invite responses and feedback through several facilitated follow-up feedback conversations in October and November. Watch for announcements with more details. The draft Covenant will then be finalized and sent to the Board of Directors for their consideration. We hope the Board will vote to recommend adoption by the entire congregation and set a date for a congregational meeting for that purpose.

Once our congregation has adopted a Covenant of Right Relations, our work together as an entire congregation will continue, as we learn and practice together.

Right Relations Task Force and Team: Vicky Foxworth, Wendi Gladstone, Cindy Kelly, Alison Kendall, Emily Linnemeier, Audrey Lyness, Linda Marten, Vilma Ortiz (Co-chair), Margot Page, Tom Peters, Kim Santiago-Kalmanson, Nalani Santiago-Kalmanson, Beth Rendeiro, Rima Snyder, Joe Straw, Sue Stoyanoff (Co-chair), Linda van Ligten, Cassandra Winters, James Witker, Patricia Wright, Steve Young, and Sylvia Young. Nancy Edmundson, our Right Relations consultant.ylvia Young, Nancy Edmundson, our Right Relations consultant.

— Emily Linnemeier

Annual Church Camp Weekend: A Wonderful Time Had By All

Aalmost 100 members of the UUSM congregation spent a fun-filled weekend at Camp de Benneville Pines at our annual church weekend retreat September 15-17. People age 4 to 94 hiked, meditated, went to workshops, tie-dyed shirts, and ate wonderful meals together. Highlights included making and racing soapbox derby cars, and the Saturday night talent show. The weekend ended with a glorious worship service outdoors in the pines.

— Abby Arnold

In a service that echoed the installation in 2011 of the Rev. Rebecca Benefiel Bijur as settled minister of the Unitarian Universalist Community Church of Santa Monica, the congregation held a Ceremony of Celebration and Release for Rev. Rebecca on Saturday, June 3, 2017. In the crowded sanctuary, sometimes tearful, sometimes laughing, members of the congregation were joined by UU ministers, neighboring clergy of other faiths, and community members, who were visibly saddened by Rev. Rebecca’s departure from UU Santa Monica.

The UUSM choir performed a new piece written by Rima Snyder in recognition of Rev. Rebecca’s ministry. The Rev. Janet McKeithan of the Church in Ocean Park, representing the Santa Monica Area Interfaith Council, and Gabriella Rosco of Clergy and Laity United for Economic Justice praised Rev. Rebecca as a leader devoted to social justice. The Rev. Rick Hoyt-McDaniels of First UU Church of Los Angeles brought greetings from the district UU Ministers Association. Other speakers included Minister Emeritus Ernie Pipes, Director of Religious Education Kathleen Hogue, and Director of Music Dr. Zanaida Robles, along with current and former presidents of the congregation.

The sanctuary was again full to capacity on Sunday, June 4, when the congregation had a final Sunday service under Rev. Rebecca’s leadership. A highlight of the service was a chalice extinguishing reflection by Cassie Winters, reprinted on page 3. Congregants lined up to bid farewell to Rev. Rebecca, who remained in the sanctuary for over an hour sharing hugs with melancholy members of the congregation.

 

DeReau Farrar’s Tribute to Rev. Rebecca

 

Hello, dear friends! I love my new home, but oh, how I have missed you!

 

The Rev. Rebecca Benefiel Bijur is an alto. And, by the way, Jonathan is a baritone with a high extension that sometimes allows him to ing low tenor parts, if needed.

 

When Rebecca arrived here, she brought ith her a song. It was her song. I wonder how any of us have had the opportunity to hear it. I am not asking if you’ve heard her sing. We’ve all heard the clear, pure singing she has often led with here. I wonder if you’ve heard her song. I have. It’s gentle, yet somehow strong. It’s simple, yet somehow very deep. And, it is so damn smart! Oh, I hope some of you have had the chance to hear it! Now, I’m a choir director. Part of my talent (I hope) lies in my ability to hear when someone in the choir is singing out of the texture and louder than everyone else. Usually, that tendency comes from people who feel relied upon as leaders and are expected to define where the music is going. However, by doing this, the musicianship is lost. The harmony is lost. I wonder how much that is happening in this place. I wonder.

 

Here is my hope. Rebecca, my hope for you is that you keep singing. Keep singing your song. I know, first-hand, that it is life-giving.

 

And, my hope for you, dear friends, is that every voice, from this point forward, that sings from this pulpit, would be heard by a congregation filled with open ears and open hearts. And, that you will commit to singing in balance and in harmony with those voices. Rebecca and all of you, I wish you blessings on all your

tomorrows.

UUSM Member Cassie Winters’ Chalice Lighting and Extinguishing for Rev. Rebecca’s Final Sunday on June 4 

Chalice Lighting

Good Morning.

My name is Cassie… and well, I’m just Cassie. I’m not a minister, a board president, or even a lay leader.

And because of that, I want to say that I feel like it is a huge honor to speak at Rebecca’s last service…I mean, it may not be…but it certainly feels that way to me.

Well, we have certainly taken the extremely long way around this very prickly thistle patch of leave-taking and heartfelt and sorrowful goodbyes… and I want to thank you, Rebecca, for that… for having the heart space to hold all our grief. It is my hope that your work in our grieving process and the work we must continue to do will leave us in a better space to welcome a new person…a space that is potentially better than the space to which you came.

I am hoping that you will be gracious with me for a bit as I speak here today as I know that I have only been coming here for almost a year and a half now, and I was not here when all of this began. For those of you who were here when I spoke last…remember when I asked about a few different scenarios and if it would be emotionally difficult for you to ask for help? I must confide in you that this is extremely emotionally difficult for me to ask for your help when I am keenly aware that it might not be well received by some of us. And even though asking for a bunch of socks and underwear was big…this ask feels even more intimate than underwear.

And after all of the beautiful and eloquent speeches yesterday I am feeling that what I have to say does not compare or measure up. And I feel so emotional and vulnerable right now that I worry that what I say will not be as coherent and as eloquent as I would like.

There is this part of me that wants to help heal the hurt in the congregation and the hurt with Rebecca…but I cannot go back in time. And so, all I can do now is to try to help us heal now and to help us not repeat what has happened in the past.

Maya Angelou is often misquoted as saying, “when you know better…you do better” … even by me. But, what she really said was, “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.”

And it is similar and means mostly the same thing. But I think that what she said emphasizes a FORGIVENESS of ourselves for when we knew less. Because you cannot know something until you know it.

But she also issues a challenge…well, now that you know better… it is up to you to do better. And as Rebecca once said, “Our desire alone to do better…sometimes falls short.”

And why is that? Mostly, it is because we are human and we come with baggage and patterns of behavior that often stem all the way from our childhoods. We also, and this is very important especially here with Unitarian Universalists who tend to be very intellectual but also very big hearted…we also sometimes have feelings that are contrary to how we think we SHOULD feel.

I’ve spent the greater part of this year talking to many of you and listening to your stories…your stories in the church and your personal stories. And one of the most important things I heard was that you felt a certain way about something…like you felt hurt, abandoned, or not important. And then sometimes you felt guilty for having those feelings because they did not match what you now know and what you value. And very often, when we feel something that we don’t think we should feel…we stuff it down…we try to pretend that we don’t feel this way. The problem with that is that those feelings are still there, and the more we ignore them the more resentful we become. And we begin to not come to church, to not work on that committee, to not interact with that person, and even sometimes — to not treat that person well. It is ok to have a feeling that you don’t necessarily agree with. The important part though is to still talk with the person with whom you have this conflict.

So many of the conflict stories I’ve heard involve us having our feelings hurt about something that, 90% of the time, the other person has no idea that we are hurt or angry.

And so, I ASK these TWO things of us.

One: Please, when you have a conflict with someone where you feel hurt or angry or even just frustrated, please go and talk with that person. You will very likely find that once you tell someone how something made you feel… a couple of things will happen. One, you will feel better for putting it out there. Two, you will probably get a better understanding of where the other person is coming from. And three, you may feel heard…and sometimes, especially when we still don’t get our way…being heard is enough and helps us move forward.

And Two:

Let us endeavor to do better.
Let us turn our hindsight into foresight
So that when we fall short or veer from our course,
We can make corrective adjustments right away.

Let us endeavor to do better.
Let us hold each other in our grief
And accept that we grieve over different things.
Let us make space for human compassion in our relations
Because we are responsible for not only ourselves
But for each other

Let us endeavor to do better.
As Rebecca once said,
“When you pay attention to what matters most
ou let go of the little things.”
And because we know now what we may not have known before
We know that if we do not do this
We cannot do better

AND… let us endeavor to do better.

RIGHT RELATIONS: Harvesting Best Behaviors

Your Right Relations Team held three successful Sharing Stories of Conflict Transformation events in May and June, and approximately 50 of you participated. Over the summer and into the fall, the Right Relations Team will harvest your stories to identify the behaviors that our congregation identifies as necessary to being in community and working through challenges and conflict. These will form our Covenant of Right Relations, which we will present in the fall.

Even though we finished holding sharing groups, we still need your Stories of Conflict Transformation (submit through the Google form found at https://tinyurl.com/uuconflictstories or by emailing us at rightrelations@uusm.org). If you did not attend one of the groups, we encourage you to add your story by using this link. The Google form will instruct you in the process! If you would like to speak to a member of the Right Relations team about your story, please contact us; we are here to help.

As we have held our sharing groups, we are mindful that many members are sharing stories of conflict that do not get resolved or transformed. That doesn’t mean that transformation is not possible in the future. It does reflect that as a congregation we have practiced a habit of tolerating or avoiding conflict. Therefore, we seek to initiate and strengthen conflict transformation practices and habits. As you reflect on and share your stories, we encourage you to tell a story through the lens of appreciation and transformation! Your stories of conflict transformation will directly support the drafting of our Covenant of Right Relations.

Please plan on attending our fall events on congregation covenant. Meanwhile we are here over the summer with regular Listening Circles, our Sunday information table, and as a resource for support by using “Note to RRTF” (http://archive.uusm.org/system/files/members-only/a_note_to_rrtf_. pdf).

Our Right Relations Task Force and Interview Team look forward to hearing from you and hearing your story: Helen Brown, Liza Cranis, Vicky Foxworth, Wendi Gladstone, Cindy Kelly, Audrey Lyness, Linda Marten, Emily Linnemeier, Margot Page, Tom Peters, Vilma Ortiz (co-chair), Kim Santiago-Kalmanson, Nalani Santiago-Kalmanson, Alison Kendall, Beth Rendeiro, Rima Snyder, Joe Straw, Sue Stoyanoff (co-chair), John Sussman, Linda van Ligten, Cassandra Winters, James Witker, Patricia Wright, Steve Young, and Sylvia Young.

We share the folling story from Karl Lisovsky. At the end, Karl reflects on the behaviors that he sees as turning the conflict to conflict resolution.

“WHO GETS THE SANCTUARY? A STORY OF CONFLICT RESOLUTION”

We had not had a Sunday Spotlight in at least a year. This occasional Church event, an open mic kind of thing that we do after a Second Sunday Supper, has recently fallen off the calendar for lack of interest on the part of organizers and participants. I decided to re-animate the practice by doing a small concert. It would be Kai Landauer (my artist name) and Eric Scerri, my buddy and lead guitarist. I scheduled the Sanctuary for June 11th and began making preparations: getting my niece to do some publicity graphics, and preparing the music. I was told when I scheduled the room that there would be “something having to do with Right Relations going on in Forbes.” I didn’t give this much thought.

On May 18th, Beth Rendeiro emailed me, and said that on June 11th, Right Relations (RR) would be hosting Second Sunday Supper and holding the final Conflict Transformation Circle afterwards. She said that it “wouldn’t be a good thing” for the Spotlight and the RR meeting to happen at the same time. She offered that if the Spotlight was a definite, that RR would have to reschedule. “Or... would [I] be open to changing the Spotlight to July?” I responded that in my mind the Spotlight was “a definite”.

On May 19th, Vilma Ortiz was more direct. She said that there was a conflict between Right Relations’ scheduled event and the Spotlight. She acknowledged that through her own oversight, RR had not scheduled the Sanctuary. Would I please “be willing to reschedule Sunday Spotlight,” for if I didn’t, the sharing group simply could not happen, as busy summer schedules would preclude the sharing circle from taking place.

Somehow, on this second email, I was able to get out of my own space enough to see that RR was in a serious bind: they had been working for over a year hosting meetings and working together for the good of the Church community. Now, at the end of this year, they wanted to have one culminating event, beginning by hosting the Second Sunday Supper, and then having the final sharing circle. The only thing that stood in the way of this plan was the Spotlight that I was planning. Once I came to appreciate the situation in this way, I could see no reason for insisting on the Spotlight, and agreed to reschedule.

Here’s what I get from all this, the “behaviors” to be “harvested” (to use RR’s vocabulary):

• Beth began the exchange by gently sensitizing me to the situation, and then simply posing a question (was the Spotlight a “definite”)
• I initially stood by my plan.
• Next, Vilma made the case more strongly that the two events were incompatible.
• Furthermore, she took responsibility for not scheduling the room in the first place.
• I realized that the Right Relations event was time sensitive, needed to happen on that date, at that time, while my Spotlight could happen at some later date. So I rescheduled the Spotlight.

Lesson: When the community’s purpose comes up against an individual’s agenda, that individual ought to think carefully about pushing too hard and thus compromising the larger group’s purpose.

Worth noting: this whole affair represented a challenge of, well, right relations; we simply had to find a way to resolve this rather minor conflict.

UUSM 90th Annual Congregational Meeting

A Farewell Party for Long-Time UUSM Leaders; A Thank You from Peggy and Rick Rhoads

The UU Santa Monica Faith in Action Commission (FIA) hosted a wonderful farewell party for Peggy and me on May 26. Seventy-four adults and a few children joined us for the potluck dinner in Forbes Hall despite it being the Friday evening of Memorial Day weekend.

Our friends David Guerra and Carlos Gomez sang revolutionary songs in Spanish. Rhonda Peacock wrote a song about us based on “Old McDonald Had a Farm” and sang it, accompanied by Teri Bond, with everyone joining in on “e - i, e - i, o.” Rhonda also wrote and performed “Ode to Rick and Peggy.” (I posted both on FB.)

We thank our friends Deborah Decker and Peter Hermann, who got the ball rolling by volunteering to host the party. FIA leaders thought there would be too many people to fit in their apartment, thus the change of venue. Cathie Gentile took the lead in organizing/setting up/cleaning up, assisted by Leslie Beauvais, Ed Brand, Sheila Cummins, Mary Davis, Deirdre Dietel, Tom Early, Roberta Frye, Barbara Gibbs, Wendi Gladstone, Joyce Holmen, Audrey Lyness, Mike Monte, Norm Richey, and James Witker. Our thanks to all these friends. Barbara sent us photos (see my Facebook page for 13 more pictures). Deirdre took Polaroid photos of everyone and gave them to us in two albums. Stan Bemis drew a sketch of Peggy and me on which many of the participants wrote messages. Our profound gratitude and thanks to all.

Members Endorse Hiring a Developmental Minister

So far almost 50 stories have been shared; Leslie Beauvais shares this story:

Quotations Related to Transformation

 

Lois Hutchinson has provided these quotations that relate to our April ministry theme, Transformation.

 

April 2 - CALL THE MIDWIFE - O Wind, If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind? — Percy Bysshe Shelly

 

April 9 - STILL WE RISE - One day, when the glory comes, It will be ours. It will be ours. Oh, one day, when the war is won, We will be sure. We will be sure. — John Legend, Common, and Rhymefest

 

April 16 - MORNING HAS COME - He showed her swelling leaf-buds on rose branches which had seemed dead. He showed her ten thousand new green points pushing through the mould. They put their eager young noses close to the earth and sniffed its warmed springtime breathing. — Frances Hodgson Burnett

 

April 23 - EARTH SUNDAY - What we’re fighting for now is each other. — Wen Stephenson

 

April 30 - “WHO CARES? I DO!” (YRUU YOUTH GROUP SUNDAY) - Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark. — Henri-Frédéric Amiel

Elections Are on the Way